3 walking, 1 in the oven?

I’m making this prediction early on (July 4th, 2009), and it seems that no one else on line or anywhere I’ve searched has taken this line.

Sarah Palin is, umm…. let’s say, aborting her political career at this point, not because as some say she wants to work on a run for the presidency in 2012.

No, not even she is that stupid. Well, o.k., maybe that’s just not correct.

Nor is it because she’s going to reveal soon that she’s under investigation and needs more face time with her legal council.

Nope, none of those.

My guess is that Sarah had to make a “Sophie’s Choice” and make a decision to either have an abortion or have another kid, and she chose the former so she now has to fear that the news would leak out at some point.

If this happened because she didn’t want to have yet another child, her “base” who stayed with her even after her daughter gave birth to an illegitimate child and then never got married, well they would just have to call it quits.

That “Right To Life” group is a tough audience, it wouldn’t matter to them if the kid was (thanks to an amnio test) found to be deformed or, like the mother, brain damaged.

Uh-uh, not even if it wasn’t really Todd’s baby.

A new meaning for “Who’s your daddy?”

Well, looking back there was that governor’s conference where she may have partied with South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford a while back, and you know that guy likes to travel to strange places to find love.

Mark and two pigs new friends at a party?

Snap this financial picture…

Hey, join the march to improve the business world and the government’s financial outlook, and we can do it by reducing the cost of doing business today.

This involves some basic logic, which means that none of this is likely to ever happen, but it would be at least a small step on that slippery route to a cure.

Discontinue all these paid days off on holidays.

Yep, it’s just that simple, here are a few examples:

If the government or business leaders want to take time off, or give their personnel time off, let’s say for president’s day at full pay, well great for them. But if they or their employees can’t prove that they spent at least half of the length of their normal workday in repose on that day off thinking about the creative accomplishments of our various past presidents, there’ll be no pay for that day.

Same for Christmas, you’ll just need to provide receipts for gifts or donations to the needy (as if it would be hard to find such people now), and you would be allowed an hour off with pay for each 1/8th of that donation. Of course, that’s only if your donations or the use of that  time could be proven in an audit.

Don’t forget that receipt book!

Martin Luther King day? Just provide a documented time log that shows how many hours you spend mentoring or teaching in an urban community in need and then you will get paid for those hours at your normal base rate.

Mentoring the locals…

I’m sure with very little effort you could figure ways this process could be applied to any of the gifts of money for nothing that get doled our each year on so many holidays to a nations working people.

Or to most of our fatcat lawyers and politicians.

Moonwalking On Farrah

A prime example of how unfair life can be went down today….

Farrah Fawcett died of cancer after a long and painful illness, with all the personal private details blabbed on the cover of the scum press for all to see.

And then to add insult to injury, on the very same day Michael Jackson happens to have his heart blow out and thereby grab all the press coverage available in the world.

Now comes the silent moment as we must decide if the recent demise of Ed McMahon (he’s been blowing dust farts for several days now) is recent enough to qualify as the third in the surely scientifically proven elsewhere observance that three celebrities must check out at a time rule.

With only a few exceptions (Mark David Chapman comes to mind), fans don’t get to choose who hits the dirt for a nap, but if we did I suppose that some of my previous mentioned choices* would be gone, but I’m watching my Karma these days so I won’t name any names in this category.

*Teri Hatcher, Sheena Easton, Sarah Michelle Gellar, etc. come to mind right off the top. Crap, now I have to hope nothing happens to any of them so I’m not moved up on a suspect list.

No really, they’re all fine, charming, friendly people that I’ve worked with and lived to tell about it. Somewhere else, some other time.

Dear Sag-sters…..

Meanwhile, back on the set…

Speaking entirely without a single bit of authorization of any sort from my fellow independent film and video crew folks, or any others that toil daily in the entertainment industry, I’d like to thank all of you voters in SAG for your gift of what to this date amounts to nearly a years vacation.

But next time, however, perhaps you could find a way to work it out so it’s going to be a paid vacation for those of us who do not receive residuals at all. You know, the folks who get a job and work on that show one time, and then are paid once for that one time, and that’s it.  Of course, you could have agreed to that (pretty much the same) contract offer about a year ago and not missed out on all that work, but that’s just so much water under a bridge. And if someone decides that bridge is going to be shown in a feature film, it’s likely to be one located in New Zealand or Canada, or…….Ah, but I digress…….

Most of those of us who continue to work in “The Business” in this manner have somehow found a way to pay our bills and exist, and those who can’t manage to make a living doing this simply have had to go out and find another occupation. Perhaps that’s something to think about for the 95% or so of your members who only work a day or two a year in their craft, and yet still put “actor” as their profession on their tax return.

I’d be happy to hear that members of SAG will no longer be allowed to vote on decisions that affect so many if they earn less than, oh, let’s say at least five percent of their total annual income from acting.

That’s not going to ever happen, but I’d be happy to hear it.

I’m just saying……

S’long G.O.D.

Before all of the bible thumping starts…..

Full disclosure, I’m an atheist (I swear to god, it’s true). So before any of you knuckle dragging mouth breathers start to scream and jump up and down about this blog being part of the war on christianity on your talk radio and t.v. shows, glance back up at that title and notice those periods between the letters G, O, and D.

Well, that  G.O.D. in the subject line is (in this case) an acronym, and was intended to mean Good Old Days, you know how old friends often will talk about those days when most things used to be simple, and they often made sense.

Don’t bother waiting up, that won’t be happening again soon.

Simple, yet never  made sense.

As Seen On (a) T.V.

You can almost smell the commercial breaks that are soon to be inserted.

And that thumping sound? Maybe it’s James Cameron turning over in his grave.

O.K., so he’s not dead yet. Perhaps he saw a sneak preview? Who knows?

I’m talking about the latest, and after seeing this, I hope the last of the Terminator Films.

This is no more than an endless chain of shaking shots framed in close ups for TV, interspersed with epic sized explosions that were strung together by truly stupid dialog (and I’m not even including the attempt at humor in using “Arnoldisms”). I don’t remember a shot that showed the floor, much less below the knees, and it’s very obvious that even the two-shots were done as “chokers” to show off any facial emotions that might get lost if it was done in a full shot.

I guess production saved money by not needing to buy shoes?

And Christian Bale? He must be deep into his post grad studies of the Dr. Jack Shephard role that Matthew Fox perfected on “Lost”. The facial stuff like the pensiveness that Fox (not the network) does on the island is made almost bearable by being limited to (in my case) a 40 inch screen, but it’s just so dead wrong on the big screen. Well, that’s if you can call my local multiplex shoebox a big screen.

Go on, tell me you don’t want to call him “Jack”….

Much like Fox attempted to kill off their “Alien” money making chain by giving the controls to David Fincher, a commercial director, so it seems to have gone with using McG on”Salvation”.

I don’t recall waiting for any of the Terminator or Alien films to end.

Sadly, I did today!

Angels + Demons + Opie Oh My!

NOTE, THIS IS A POSSIBLE SPOILER WARNING,

THIS DEALS WITH A FILM

THAT’S NOW IN WIDE RELEASE.

L. Ron Howard, Opie-ate of the masses once again proves to be a “keep it in the family guy” again, or at least he’s half way there.

We don’t see all that much of his dad,  Rance

 At least not for the first 2 acts, and even then, only as back ground cameo.

But it’s in the final act where pops hits his stride, and he even gets to speak and get a few decent (medium) close up shots, although not with Tom Hanks.

But, what’s happened to Ron’s baby bro Clint?

Are we to believe that even as the director, Ronnie couldn’t pull strings to work in one of those “nerdy guy that’s watching the computer screen in the background” sort of parts for his brother like we often see him in?

The only other audience alert note for the very well done pic is, this film has the slowest moving bullet ever fired in a film.

Again, not to be a nit-picker, but you could use a sun dial to time the eons it takes for the bullets fired by Tom Hanks to hit a bulletproof glass window.

I’ve heard faster ballistic echoes in a ping pong game.

This is not the bulletproof glass in question.

 

Star Trek Missed A Joke

What if the Star Trek producers had brought back the character “Saavik”, an early Vulcan charmer that was played by a way back then young and thin Kirstie Alley, to act in the new “Star Trek” movie.

Perhaps she could have been the one to make a suggestion to hide the Enterprise behind the rings of Saturn, and observe what was happening on Earth.

With that perfect set up, Spock could have said, yes, Saturn would indeed be a logical place for us to hide and watch, “but” (that Spock, such a great dead pan stand up comic!), wouldn’t it be easier to hide the Enterprise behind Uranus?

You know, like that VW Van?

Don’t forget to tip your Earth’s axis 23.5 % (or degrees), on your way out.

I’ll be here for Eons.

P.S. Hey Veronica, even though it’s probably not on your Jenny Craig diet list, payback is also a dish that is best served cold.

Live Long And Perspire \\_//

Not in the PR releases, but we have the chance to watch closely as the young Spock “lays” the groundwork for  the older Spock’s (maybe) future….

“Space Booty Call”

Of course this was long before the Older Spock took part in this Vulcan MaleMeld with the perhaps previously straight Sulu.

After noticing the position of Spock’s hand, the temptation was eh.. large  to photoshop in (if you get my drift) a Star Fleet sized Sulu-Member, but I chose to take the higher ground (this time).

No prop guy props!

I saw X-Men Origins: Wolverine

It’s a great piece of film work that’s really easy to enjoy.

Well, other than when I heard a loud crash. That was the sound of my suspension of disbelief hitting the floor.

You see, it was going great until they had a scene with a radio conversation from a downed helicopter to the command center, where the call was received on what to me looked very much like a 1986 vintage $29.95 RadioShack CB Walkie-Talkie.

Complete with a long vhf type antenna with a black plastic connector in it.

They spent so many millions and millions of dollars to make this film, and then they had to have a budgetary short cut hit the screen? I can only imagine that the prop master had taken the day off when the director said “We need to have this person on a walkie talkie” and the assistant props person frantically asked around until someone found a teamster with an old CB radio stuck under the seat of their truck that was “accidently” left over from “Smokey and the Bandit III”.

Bah, Humbug!

Coming soon   http:// www.rfiDeny.com