Much Ado About Not So Much, On A Weekly Basis

Honestly now, what’s with the big deal about same sex marriage?

I’ve been married for over ten years and for most of that time, once a week as sure as the sun rises in the East it’s always the same sex.

Now for something completely different, once again…..

As I always do this time of year when my birthday nears, I’ve been doing an assessment on the status of my corporeal being, sadly it’s not all good news.

In the previous year I’ve gained about three pounds (this would also describe my bank account if I was in England, and as most people in the world, I’d be ignoring the Euro).

For my age I still have a lot of hair on my head, but sadly it seems to have migrated to the inside of my ears and nose.

Fairly Balanced

The great but for the  most part unpopulated state of North Dakota has banned abortions as soon as a heart beat can be detected.

Progressives, meaning those of us who choose to live in the 21st Century, may launch a counter measure, one that would require abortions when no brain wave activity can be detected.

This idea is causing concern among republicans since it could allow certain of their  congress members to be subject to late term abortions.

You know, “Very Late Term” abortions might even be an appropriate description for some in office who are near to the age of collecting retirement benefits.

A Few Spurts From The Conclave

People who were worried about the effort to be the next pope by former Los Angeles Archbishop Roger Mahony will now have less to worry about. Vatican security guards have reported that they’ve taken his campaign manager Karl Rove into custody and freed dozens of altar boys who were being held captive in his hotel room.

In a related story, Mahony has suggested a new way for priests to be more closely connected with those altar boys who sometimes, literally, must give their all to their superiors. Starting next Easter, the boys will play “Hide the host”, putting it somewhere in their robes, and then a blindfolded priest will be given 24 hours to find it.

And this just in, what was thought to be the results of a first vote by the cardinals to pick a new pope turned out to be just a non-connected huge puff of smoke. The source became clear when a tour bus owned by Willy Nelson and one that belonged to Snoop Dogg were found parked side by side in the Vatican’s parking lot.  So, it might be taken by some as sort of a signal from a much higher source.

Will We Pay For This At The Pump?

Executives from several oil companies were injured in a rainy day multi car pileup on the freeway leading to the airport. First reports indicate that these C.E.O.’s had moments before thrown briefcases full of cash at their limo drivers to speed them up in a bid to be able to get on the first flight to Venezuela in the event that country might reverse their nationalization of the oil fields, now that Hugo Chavez is dead.

“Neither Rain, Snow, Nor Inclement Weather Will Delay Greed.”

The ownership of any and all photos, opinions, and/ or quotes above (including those of mine) belong to the material’s creator(s). Credit is given when it’s known, but because success usually has a million parents and failure is an orphan, blame will not be so attributed. 

P.S., check back for occasional updates and rewrites….

When did they figure it out?

It may be a coincidence, but ever since President Obama has gotten more comfortable with the use of weaponized drones, Paul Ryan, John Boehner, Mitch McConnell and Eric Cantor have been having a tough time getting a 5th person to join them as they drive to work in their car pool vehicle.

We’re going to need a clean up in that far-right lane!!!

Anything that gets him out of L.A.

Roger Michael Mahony, the former “Praise the lord and pass all of those pedophile priests along to another diocese” ex archbishop of Los Angeles is going to travel to Rome to help select the next pope. It will be interesting to see what happens when he gets to the Vatican and finds that he will not be able to enter, as is his preference, through the back door……

One Flu Over The Puke, Who’s Nest (is this)?

I’ve never been a drink to excess kind of guy, so my experience is limited with regards to (choose one of the following cute terms):

The Technicolor Yawn, Praying to the great god Ralph, Preaching from the porcelain podium, Driving the bus, etc, etc…..

So spending the past few weeks with the flu and by necessity never going further than I had to from the bathroom (often catching short naps sitting on the cool tile floor), has widened my horizons and made me more sympathetic to the ailing of the world. 

It’s difficult to not rave over what a great accomplishment it is to have the ability to breathe through both sides of my nose at the same time, but it’s enough of a big deal to me that I’m somehow, eh, left breathless.

Anyway, I’m back and I expect my sense of humor to join me soon, so stay tuned…..