Oh Fortuna, Oh Fiorina!

The executives at Hewlett Packard thought that bringing on Meg Whitman (vis. Mitt Romney with bigger breasts and less greasy hair) to be their leader was going to be like having a lifeline thrown to their long time floundering company, but even after their failed previous experience with Carly Fiorina, for some reason what they didn’t realize was that sometime there can be an anchor attached to the other end of a rope.

Well, there are about 27,00 people who can explain it to them…

This brings to mind a song by Al Wilson about a woman who picked up a snake, which promptly bit her. Here are the relative lyrics from the final stanza:

“But, I saved you,” cried that woman ”and you’ve bitten me, but why?
You know your bite is poisonous, And now I’m gonna die.”
“Aw, shut up, silly woman,” Said that reptile, with a grin.
“You knew damn well I was a snake, before you brought me in.”

So it goes…….

The ownership of any and all photos, lyrics, opinions, and quotes above (including my own) belong to that material’s creators. Credit is given when known, but because success has a million parents and failure is an orphan, blame is not. 

Whores That Give Prostitution A Bad Name

The kindest and most fitting name I could give all of the scumbags who have sold out America and Americans in exchange for a little re-election funding would be “Whore”, but then I’d have to always be on watch for a streetwalker with a knife or gun, hidden in a place where the sun is not likely to shine.

“Give us an example” you ask?

Well then, how about Republican Iowa Governor Terry Branstad? He who was quoted saying about President Obama “He misled us. He basically lied to us. He promised he was going to be a unifier and he would work together across party lines. He’s done just the opposite”. 

Governor Braindead, receiving a “donation”

Did he really think that no one was listening to the pronouncements and actions of each and every Republican leader going all out to “make Obama a one term president”. They’ve tried (and continue to do so) to accomplish this by blocking any attempts by Obama to get anything done, with no regard to the effects on the future of our country.

For a glimpse of an even more egregious plot by a group of lying scumbag whores, Google “California Proposition 29″ to see some of the misleading videos that the tobacco industry whores have produced in an attempt to confuse voters so as to block new taxes on their products, again with no regard to the effects on the health of the people of our country.

After the election? You may find her working Sunset Blvd….

Someone needs to get a DNA sample from these weasels, because I believe somewhere in their genome there’s going to be a chain with, what I prefer to call, a ”Missing Jerk-Off” link.

The ownership of any and all photos, opinions, and quotes above (including my own) belong to that material’s creators. Credit is given when known, but because success has a million parents and failure is an orphan, blame is not.

The Tea Party Dichotomy Question

There likely isn’t even one of my almost a third of a million occasional visitors reading this that the following will apply to, but here’s a non-equivocal and direct question for those out there who boast about being in the Tea Party and are against Government intrusion into your private life, and also to those who have a similar way of thinking about things as the T.P., but for whatever reason claim to be Libertarians or only “ordinary” Republicans…..  

I await your answer to the following:

If you’re so strongly opposed to the government imposing dictates on any part of your life or way of thinking to the extent that it determines how you vote, who you will provide financial support for in elections (local or national), and who you will even listen to on the radio or watch on t.v., in what way can you justify pushing for the creation of laws (a.k.a. Government intrusion into your private life) that will prevent same sex marriage?

And for the bonus round, find and interview one person that is involved in the creation of laws (a.k.a. Government intrusion into your private life) to save the “Unborn”, and ask them to give the date of the last protest against the death penalty for the post-born which they have attended.  You’ll earn double points if your interview subject has adopted even one handicapped or otherwise unwanted child of color who was abandoned shortly after birth by financially challenged parents that were talked or otherwise pressured out of having an abortion.

In the spirit of full disclosure, I’m a lifelong heterosexual who has always believed that anything that takes place between consenting adults is fair game, and also that people of the gay persuasion should not be deprived of the right to lose half of everything they own. After all, if you can declare that marriage(a.k.a. Government intrusion into your private life) can legally only be between a man and a woman, that means that by default only a man and a women can get divorced. 

The ownership of any and all photos, opinions, and quotes above (including my own) belong to the material’s creators, credit is given when known, but because success has a million parents and failure is an orphan, blame is not. 

Act III, Scene II, Wherein I Cave To The Devil I Know

In my previous post, I brought up the subject of how each cell phone that I had received from a not to be named company ended up dying about the same time as the contract expired, and how I was now considering the continued use of my old phone which was somehow still working instead of getting a new and improved one, which will come along with a new two year noose to place around my neck.

Well, someone at that company must have broken that tricky Latin code I used, and figured out that there was someone out there with one of their phones that was making a “Logan’s Run” to avoid the death beam, and only a few days later my phone began shutting off and re-starting on its own. 

Who is the Pivot Man in this Cell Phone Circle Jerk?

Yesterday morning it shut down three times in two hours, so the hint was no longer one I could ignore, the storm troopers of the evil empire were narrowing down their search pattern so immediate evasive action was required.

For the past few weeks I had been asking people at random who their cell provider was, and how the service they received worked for them. It soon became obvious that the only choice for me was to stay with the Devil I know, and for no valid reason wish that in two years things might be different. Someday I’ll tell you a joke about wishes, the WWII version my father told me.

You have a wish in one hand and …….

Well, after a brief visit to Costco, I now have a shiny new Droid Bionic to start yet another learning curve with, but it’s going much smoother than the one with my previous Droid Incredible, I get the workings of the “Android Way”.

My way or the highway, and I’ll give you directions

And, the most incredible part about that “Incredible” phone was that I managed to not give in to my dark side and use my Makita drill gun and a 2″ drywall screw to mount it on the wall. And believe me, that dark side was screaming….

The ownership of any and all photos, opinions, and quotes above (including my own) belong to the material’s creators, credit is given when known, but because success has a million parents and failure is an orphan, blame is not

Is Your Cell Phone Company Giving You A Line?

To avoid potential legal issues I will only identify my cell phone company as one whose name, with no possible connection, starts with the same three letters as a word in Latin that means “truth”.

Hint (Thank you, LuLu): it may follow the Latin for “In Wine”.

My old phone is still operational, somehow it’s managed to escape the death sentence that my previous phones from this company ran into when they hit the two year mark. I don’t know if there’s a count-down timer chip built in to it, or if this company sends out some sort of a coded death ray signal to have the phone self-destruct, but either way the norm is that it’s dead about the same time that the contract expires, so usually the phone does as well.

Yep, two years and you’re out

That being said, my contract with them expired a few months ago and yesterday I went to their showroom to decide if I should stay with them now that I’m more or less a free agent who is paying for my service month to month.

The No-Hitch-Cock “Dial-M” phone issued to “Free Agents”

My phone is still operational so I could, at least in theory, just stay on with them without getting a new phone and being required to sign on for a new two year contractual agreement. About that contract, from the start it was explained to me that the two year contract term was how they could recoup giving me the phone at a discount, a little each month. Or so they said.

How the phone company sees your phone

When I asked the “Stepford Wife” like woman at the desk if this meant that if I was to go on using my existing paid off phone, would I now receive a reduced monthly rate because I don’t have a new phone to amortize, she took on a deer in the headlight face and quickly tried to change the subject with “But you’ll miss out on all the newer features that your new phone can provide you with your new contract”. I suppose that she was programmed to use variations of “your” and “new”, which are the corporate authorized replacement words for “free”, used repetitiously to attract those with the attention span of a hummingbird.

The new Hummingbird Feeder Phone, filled with features

I derailed the conversation and routed it back to my question, but no explanation was available from her or anyone else on the sales staff up through the food chain to the office manager for what I thought to be a straightforward question; “When you say that my first two years of service payments have a built in extra monthly amount to pay down the cost of the phone you’ve provided to me, after I finish paying for it, why does my ongoing bill continue to give this company money for something that I’ve already paid off? I left the office before the laughter even ended……

Unchain my phone, baby set me free…….

If you take this question to your cell phone provider, please let me know if you have any better luck with it than I did. Oh yeah, click here for a previous post on a different cell phone issue.  

Here’s an update to this story

The ownership of any and all photos, opinions, and quotes above (including my own) belong to the material’s creators, credit is given when known, but because success has a million parents and failure is an orphan, blame is not.

That Gaseous Bubble Surfaces, Again….

A few quotes from me with regards to similar numbers, but for opposite reasons…

A few months ago I saw this

At that time I remember saying, “Hey, look, now we’re almost up to $4.00 a gallon for regular.”, and I was furious that I was being raped in the rear (umm, that’s where I carry  my wallet), again.

Well, gas prices that were on their way up are now on the way back down…..

Did Capone post a notice when he robbed?

Today I said: “Hey, look, now we’re almost down to $4.00 a gallon for regular.”, and somehow I’m expected to be happy to see this change?

It seems that I’ve been reprogrammed, I’ve made it successfully through yet another “re-eduction” cycle, one in which I’ve been taught to be grateful for paying “Only” $4.00 (USD) a gallon for gas, much the same way as I was taught to be comfortable with $3.00 a gallon gas a few years ago, and $2.00 a gallon gas a few years before that, and etc, etc, etc………..

I know that speculators have to eat too, but must they use golden plates?

The ownership of any and all photos, opinions, and quotes above (including my own) belong to the material’s creators, credit is given when known but because success has a million parents and failure is an orphan, blame is not.

Take this hose and stick it…..

Earlier today I paid $104.55 to fill up my “Bulgemobile”, a Chevy Uplander.

If memory serves, which it still does on an occasional basis, I have in the past bought many running but in need of minor repair cars for less than that, cars that I fixed  up and then sold quickly to supplement the money I received from the G.I. Bill while I was going to school.

My first car was a 1950 Oldsmobile Futuramic 88, I paid $10.00 for it.

I purchased that Olds for ten dollars in cash, and it was still in great shape when I sold it with an near empty gas tank for $75.00 after driving it for a year. Now I’m thinking that it’s probably worth at least a few grand on the classic car circuit, so it goes. Just to add a bit of insult to an old injury, it had over 10 gallons of gas in it and was running o.k. when I bought it for that crisp ten dollar bill. By the way, that’s not me in the driver’s seat (nor the passenger seat). Full disclosure, I once did end up in the passenger seat , it was on my first time out in the car and followed a (much too) sharp left turn from Sepulveda on to Sawtelle in an attempt to beat the oncoming traffic. I installed a seat belt a little later that same day, pausing only for a quick wardrobe change that was necessitated by that quick slide across the J.C. Whitney plastic one piece seat cover.  To its credit, that plastic did keep me from having a car with permanent skid marks inside the cabin.

The ownership of any and all photos, opinions, and quotes above (including my own) belong to the material’s creators, credit is given when known.

Putting a different spin on things….

While watched the T.V. news coverage of the hundreds of tornadoes that have smashed the living crap out of many small towns in the central part of the United States, I’ve noticed that almost to a one, when they’re interviewed on camera the survivors have been saying “God saved us” or “God spared us”. What I’ve also noticed at this point is that the ones that didn’t survive have been saying, eh….. well, not so much. 

The ownership of any and all photos, opinions, images and quotes above (including my own) belong to the material’s creators, credit is given when known, blame is not.

Related to the Indiana Wife Joke

It’s been reported that people who spend most of their day sitting are more likely to die of heart disease, so I’ve been trying to stay on my feet the past few days.

As a result of this very personal research, I’ve learned that a person likely won’t live longer from standing all day, it will just seem that way.

And how does this relate to that Indiana Wife joke?

A man who has been getting sicker every day goes to his doctor.

The doctor does tests, then tells the patient he has a month to live.

“This is terrible doc, there anything I can do to have a longer life?”

The doctor  replies, “You could marry an Indiana woman.”

The patient asks “If I marry an Indiana woman I’ll live longer?”

“No” says the doctor, “But every minute will seem like eternity”.

A taste of Hoosier home cooking, again.

I once had a “Hoosier” wife who, assuming that she’s still alive and probably still in Greenfield, will be in her “late” 50′s on May 23. Actually, I wish Jeannie a long, long life so she can watch so many of those people who are for whatever reason still around her die, slowly, I hope.

After all, that’s the effect she had on my life.

The ownership of any and all photos, opinions, and quotes above (including my own) belong to the material’s creators, credit is given when known, blame is not.

Obama, Motivate Your Voters!

One method you could use would be something like this:

My fellow Americans, can it really be over a decade since you thought there wasn’t all that much of a difference between the candidates, and therefore there really wasn’t too much of a reason to get your ass out of bed and vote?

For starts, there was this….

Now tell me, how’d that decision work out for you?

Yell King Goes Amplified…  But Wait, There’s More

The heartless one shows his love

Then she said, “I am smiling, Asshole!”

Note Darth Cheney and Condi’s body language

A criminal family with a body count like the Sopranos, get out and vote if you want to prevent another fiasco like this one.

Just Vote!

The ownership of any and all photos, opinions, and quotes above (including my own) belong to the material’s creators, credit is given when known.