Posts tagged ‘George W. Bush’

Dear President Romney

 To be sent November 7, 2012

After watching you give your victory speech today, I can only think of one explanation for that ear to ear idiot smile you have on your face, I’m sure that grin is because you knew the fix was in and Ohio always was in your pocket.

And no mater what else happened, you were sure that as a last resort you also could count on the traditional republican method of winning elections that no one in their right mind would have ever thought possible to win, because you know that who gets the votes has far less an influence on the results than who counts them.

Perhaps you could take a minute and remind the people that don’t know which one of your sons it is who has a business that provides those incredibly easy to program electronic voting machines. Ah, but I digress…..

Yes, the example of George W. Bush becoming the president of the United States is exactly what I was thinking of, a person who wasn’t qualified to be the president of a local Elks chapter somehow (a few possibilities would be the actions by his brother Jeb, The Supreme Court, a cousin at Fox news declaring victory before the ballot were counted , etc..) suddenly becomes the leader of the free world.

What I’m getting at here in order to cover my ass, is that as you assume that mantle of power, should someone happens to remind you of Nixon’s old idea of creating an “Enemies List”, every thing that I’ve written since the start of the Republican primary debates was all done in good fun. I’m aware that you’re not really known for having a sense of humor, with many Americans describing your smile as more of a grimace, but I’m sure you’ll accept my explanation for my activities. You see, I believe that I was taken over by a mind grab placed on me by either members of the church of Scientology or the Microsoft corporation board of directors as payback for my previous words about them, words that were less than polite on occasion. That’s why I was forced to write those terrible (yet often funny) things about you and the rest of your fellow Republicans that all were ahead of you in the race, the race you won!

That’s it, and if you’ll just accept my humble request for mercy, if not a full presidential pardon, I’ll never tell anyone about those warm sunny afternoons I spent comforting Anne while you were out on one of those endless campaign tours you’ve made in those endless years (at least until now) of pursuit of the presidency. In her defense, you have to understand that even the best of Stepford wives can get lonely.

When things slow down and all of the inauguration stuff is over, ask Anne to demonstrate her expertise with the reverse cowgirl trick, or how she can suck start a Harley. I can promise you that she’ll take your mind off any bad memories, much as she did for me!

Again, I’m sorry that I ruined her for you.

November 6, 2012 at 7:11 am 1 comment

Simply Amazing

How does a candidate who is running for the office of President of the United States of America, one who by all accounts has never actually performed a day of real work in his entire life even find the nerve to bring up Unemployment as an issue?

By the way, when I say that he never worked it’s pretty much the same way I would describe the existence of a professional pickpocket, that’s someone who may be considered to be employed, yes, but working, eh…. well, not so much.

And the above comparison is far more to the point than most of the things that I usually write about, taking money that this person has no right to is a fair description of his history of strip mining businesses, lifting retirement savings, pension funds, coins from the commissary tip jar, anything else that isn’t nailed down, and then he casually just walks away from the smoking wreckage.

You may have noticed that I didn’t specifically mention any name in those above paragraphs, but do you have any question at all about who the subject is?

I didn’t think so…..

Doing my best inspector Columbo, “There’s just one more thing”….

Do just a little research on your part and you’ll find that the people who are investing in the campaign of the unnamed person (and make no mistake about it, it’s all about investments and nothing close to a donation) are operating as sort of free agents and hiding under banners the likes of  “Crossroads GPS”, “Restore Our Future”, “American Crossroads” or some other innocuous meaningless name, all 527 shell gamess. These groups are made up of the “Brain Behind Bush (and Nixon!)” a.k.a. as Karl Rove, and additional donations investments from those coal and oil thievery barons known as, keeping it polite here, “Those Koch-Suckers”, David and Charles Koch or others of their ilk. If you’re not a republican, you’ll remember George W. Bush as the president who was between Clinton and Obama, if you are a republican you will not acknowledge his existance. However, what’s even more interesting about this campaign is that there is nothing positive to say about their candidate, so they’re left with ad hominem attacks on perceived shortcomings of his opponent.

And so it goes.

November 3, 2012 at 1:19 am Leave a comment

A tough break for bin-Laden

It’s too bad for Osama bin-Laden that even with all of his family’s oil industry corporate pawns  lobbyist friends doing their overpaid best, he wasn’t able to get them to pressure (some might call it pay off) the corporate owned United States Supreme Court in time to vote to cut off the funding for the military action that finally found him.

I guess plan “B” for him could have been to go and  incorporate himself as “Osama bin-Laden Goyim Youth Network LLC” (NYSE listing: OBGYN), after that, the government would have not bothered him at all. In fact, given the recent Supreme Court Citizens United decision, he might be even allowed to donate to election campaigns, just like the rest of his family has always done. You still don’t think so? Please explain then how all of those major Saudi players managed to get flown en-masse and unquestioned out of the U.S. on September 12, 2001, that was a day when there were supposed to be no flights taking off anywhere for anyone?

You know who I’m talking about when I say Osama? He was that six foot four inch tall guy that roamed the hills of West Bumfuckistan for almost ten years in search of dialysis treatment every other day. The same guy that George W. Bush used the full might of the U.S. to chase after for what must have been about a full week, before he used the power of his office to grab Americans by the nose
and lead them by it over to Iraq, so he could finally kill off the guy that his ex-president father couldn’t. Yeah, that’s the Osama I’m talking about.

Osama indicates how many Supreme Court Justices his family owns

How many hours do you suppose will elapse before Donald Trump, the world’s most famous certified asshat, shows up on Fox News (you may as well pronounce it “Faux News”) and screams for someone to produce DNA evidence and a death certificate, and by that I mean the notarized long form original copy?

Just askin….

May 2, 2011 at 3:40 pm 1 comment

Governor Meg Lo-Manic?

Sorry, I probably meant to type “Meg Whitman”, but I just had one of those  little slips on the keyboard, I guess. Damn these senior moments.

It seems like Meg Whitman has bought up every available moment of advertising in California, especially in radio spots where you can’t see her jowls shaking and  all of the liver spots in bloom. You can’t go an hour without hearing her talking about all the things that California needs to have fixed, right now, without a word about how she plans to achieve any of them. Could it be like how she “fixed” eBay by running it into the ground with unmotivated fees and pedantic rules, buying up Paypal and making its use mandatory?

Not for nothing, but I’ve yet to hear one solid statement from her of how she will do anything to make the state goverment better, fix educational problems, lower our taxes without making service cuts, she’s only following the republican methodology of slamming anything anyone else says or does, with no counter plan in place, with no regard for the well being of the state.

(Meg’s bid to buy the election UPDATE 3-13-2010)

Ending this run for office of hers is actually very simple, just voice one important question that she needs to be asked, which goes something like this:

Exactly who did you give your vote to in the last California race for governor?

It’s amazing that no democrat has taken the time to ask this question so that her answer is on the record. Nor has anyone asked her why she won’t take part in  public debates with her opponents? Maybe she could try using Sarah Palin’s handy-work technique?

You know what I mean Meg? When you have a tough heckler in the crowd, read that small print message that you wrote on the  palm of your right hand, the one that says “Use the middle finger, stupid”.

What’s that Meg? You say you didn’t vote in the last California election? Well then, how about the election before that?

Uh no, much like Dick Cheney felt during the draft for active service in the Viet-Nam war era, there were far more important things to do.

I see, so you skipped that election as well?

Well, yeah…… you could say that.

Hmmm, and the election before that one, too?

This is starting to seem like a witch hunt…

Nice call Meg……

And when she changed her campaign slogan from a story of her 30 years as a California resident to how she was only here “many” of the last 30 years, well, could you define “many” for us?

And for me? The negative ad campaign she’s running is enough to convince me that I should re-register as a republican, hold my nose and vote for Steve Poizner using the “Lesser Of Two Weasels” thought process. Think about how many people now really regret not giving more support to Ann Richards to abort (nice how that word fits the occasion) the George W. Bush for governor campaign.

February 12, 2010 at 4:23 am Leave a comment

I’m going way out on a limb here, but…..

…I’d be willing to bet if you woke George W. Bush out of a deep sleep, assuming no drugs were at work in his system (stop that laughing, it could happen), I believe he could speak in logical and complete sentences, and be able to use big words correctly.

Of course, as soon as he became aware that the world was watching, he would do a quick rendition (oops, shouldn’t use that word, US Attorney General Michael B. Mukasey might be following this thread) of Cliff Robertson’s 3rd act work in “Charly“, a 1968 film based on the sci-fi story “Flowers for Algernon”, and drift back to being the idiot we’ve all come to know and resent.

bush-idiot.jpg

The only reason I couldn’t believe in this happening, is that after working with thousands of actors over the last thirty years, I’ve never met even one that could keep so strictly in character for such a long period of time.

bush-idiot2.jpg

But, everyone has to come up for air eventually. Let’s see if the real “W” will surface after next January, when he’s safely out of the country and living in his Saudi paradise far from extradition.

bushcheneyimpeach1.jpg

March 6, 2008 at 12:58 am Leave a comment


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