Archive for August, 2012

A Romney nomination device

Those who are now serving their time dodging hurricanes in hell at the Republican convention in Tampa and will have to pull the trigger (Allowing for the NRA nuts, figuratively speaking) and nominate someone, if you can manage to have those hookers wait for you at your hotel, this may help ease your pain…

Romney Vote Enabler, v2.0

 

The ownership of any and all photos, opinions, and/ or quotes above (including those of my own) belong to the material’s creator(s). Credit is given when it’s known, but because success usually has a million parents and failure is an orphan, blame will not be so attributed. 

P.S., check back for occasional updates and rewrites….

August 28, 2012 at 5:41 pm 1 comment

The Romney / Ryan Dichotomy Quandary

Soon after Willard (a.k.a. “Mitt”) Romney was instructed (some might say ordained) to pick Paul Ryan as his running mate, a deep schism developed among the Tea Party knuckle draggers. How can a group composed of working class “Real Patriotic Americans” that have worked 24/7 for “Born-again Christian Values” now support a draft dodger Mormon and a very wealthy Catholic professional (read: Lifetime) politician who have their campaign heavily funded by big dollars from a Jewish guy who owns gambling casinos worldwide, pinheads who are running against a candidate, Democrat though he may be, who has stated again and again that he is a Christian? And that question is only dealing with the proverbial visible tip of an iceberg, there are so many secrets that Mitt refuses to talk about (dueling bumper stickers; “Obama 2012” or “Romney 1040ez”), and religious views that Ryan pretends not to have even though he’s been documented as being involved with them in the, if you will, their creation. And there’s no way for one to ignore their billionaire financial backers, carefully hidden away never to be seen, unless you can manage to drag those Koch soakers brothers out of one of their protective safe rooms. If you want a real challenge, try to find any photo anywhere on the web that shows Mitt and Sheldon Adelson in the same frame, or  for that matter, many of the others that want a Romney president but don’t want to be seen in a photo, much less the same room with him.

If a Mormon and a Catholic walk in to a bar, who pays for the beer?

Rumor has it that the other candidate may actually have told the truth and he is a true Christian, and this will likely have some effect on their decision. Or, will they just have to bite the bullet and accept that the Mormon and Catholic guys are at least vaguely Christians. The actual tipping point in their favor may end up being that they’re white, or did I need to mention that?

A white as the November snow in Milwaukee.

My prediction? There may be a large number of Republicans who do show up at the polls on election day, but many of them will arrive and vote holding their noses.

How did you know I voted for Romney / Ryan?

By the way, has anyone else noticed that if you take Mitt’s first initial and last name, “M. Romney”, and then jiggle those letters around, one anagram that you can create is going to be “Mr. Money”?  And further, if you add G.I. (which like Romney, he never was) to P. Ryan, the most obvious anagram is “Praying”. By the way, if you’re not liking these, you should stop me before I get to M. McConnell

Yes, Your Bucks Do Stop Here, And I Thank You For Them.

Hey, Just Asking…..

N.B., The ownership of any and all photos, opinions, and/ or quotes above (including those of my own) belong to the material’s creator(s). Credit is given when it’s known, but as always, success usually has a million parents and failure is an orphan.

Feel free to ignore any ads that are shown below this advisory, I don’t get to choose them and even more sadly, I don’t make a penny off any of them, so in the holy name of capitalism I rebuke and don’t endorse or support any of them, unless of course they’re made of funny stuff…..  

P.S., check back for occasional updates and rewrites….

FAIR USE NOTICE: THIS SITE CONTAINS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL THE USE OF WHICH HAS NOT ALWAYS BEEN SPECIFICALLY AUTHORIZED BY THE COPYRIGHT OWNER. I AM MAKING SUCH MATERIAL AVAILABLE IN MY EFFORT TO ADVANCE UNDERSTANDING OF ENVIRONMENTAL, POLITICAL, HUMAN RIGHTS, ECONOMIC, DEMOCRACY, SCIENTIFIC, AND SOCIAL JUSTICE ISSUES, ETC. I BELIEVE THIS CONSTITUTES A ‘FAIR USE’ OF ANY SUCH COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL AS PROVIDED FOR IN SECTION 107 OF THE US COPYRIGHT LAW. IN ACCORDANCE WITH TITLE 17 U.S.C. SECTION 107, THE MATERIAL ON THIS SITE IS DISTRIBUTED WITHOUT PROFIT TO THOSE WHO HAVE EXPRESSED A PRIOR INTEREST IN RECEIVING THE INCLUDED INFORMATION FOR RESEARCH AND EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES. FOR MORE INFORMATION GO TO: HTTP://WWW.LAW.CORNELL.EDU/USCODE/17/107.SHTML.  IF YOU WISH TO USE COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL FROM THIS SITE FOR PURPOSES OF YOUR OWN THAT GO BEYOND ‘FAIR USE’, YOU MUST OBTAIN PERMISSION FROM THE COPYRIGHT OWNER.  

 

August 13, 2012 at 6:35 pm 1 comment

Outsourced Olimpic Souvenirs, Now On Aisle 6

Yes, I’m well aware that there’s a misspelled word in the subject line, much the same as I know that the most litigious organization in the world claims to own the correct spelling of that word, and they have more lawyers than Michael Phelps has gold medals or groupies attending his alleged pot parties. That’s also why the next photo merely represents London, which I believe is still in the public’s domain, instead of some logo that’s made up of interlinked circular things. O.K., on with the show…..

I have bad and worse news from London.

I’m Clock Blocked, big time…

The bad news? Even after being transported in the traditional Romney style, Ann’s horse Rafalca still didn’t win the Dressage (a.k.a., Horse Dancing) event.

The worse news? Rafalca has been put on the market. Well, to be more precise, Rafalca has been put on the shelf in the dog food section of a market near you.

Poor Rafalca, only a pas de deux away from getting the bronze

And Rafalca may also soon be found in finer Asian restaurants worldwide. 

And because in some parts of the world, nothing is wasted…

It’s yellow & if you serve it warm it bubbles

I’m not worried, I have RomneyCare

Yes, my hat was made in China…

The ownership of any and all photos, opinions, and/ or quotes above (including those of mine) belong to the material’s creator(s). Credit is given when it’s known, but because success usually has a million parents and failure is an orphan, blame will not be so attributed. 

P.S., check back for occasional updates and rewrites….

 

August 9, 2012 at 11:17 pm 1 comment

The Latest Verizon Adventure

What I had intended to say was “Get your tongue out of my mouth bitch, I’m kissing you goodbye”, but what I actually said to the Verizon representative woman was “I have two phones with Verizon, and one of them has ended its contractual 2 year agreement yesterday so I want to cancel that number and close off that part of my account, please”.

It’s not my car, but I share those feelings

To bring all of my new readers (yes, both of you) up to speed, I’ve  had a 20 year love / hate relationship with Verizon, one that I always swear will end when the current contract expires, but like a mother who somehow manages to forget about the agony of child birth and gets pregnant again, here I am. I think I came up with an unintentional yet very funny line there in that last analogy, screwed hard yet getting back in line for more.

Go ahead Verizon, it’s only one more nail

I’ve used and been abused by Verizon for all this time because I work on films and travel to a lot of locations all over the map, and while doing so I’ve had the opportunity to compare usability with others on the crew, and often mine is the only phone working on the set, it just works.

Who didn’t choose ATT/Sprint/T-Mobile?

This includes films done on location in my ancestral homeland of Detroit, where for the past several years I would work as a local hire by staying with friends and relatives. This practice came to a screeching halt when the last election for the office of governor of Michigan put republican Rick Snyder (yes, feel free to call him “Dick”) into office in January.

Bend Over Michigan Film Makers, I’ll drive you home – less

One of the first official acts of this “Dick” was to chop the legs out from under the relatively new and quickly growing Michigan film industry, in addition to kicking many newly hired workers who were long time unemployed ex-auto industry employees directly to the curb.

Looking for work since “Detroit-187” was cancelled

Just to explain why I came to have an additional Verizon phone, I needed a dedicated cel phone with a Detroit area prefix (248) while working in the SouthEast part of Michigan. Five months after I signed my two year contract, there was no longer a Michigan Film Industry to work in. That phone became a paperweight that I still had to pay for each month until either the contract expired or I did.  I’ve learned that some businesses will shake hands hello when you enter, Verizon will bite your ass on your way out.

Customer Relations, Verizon Style

It had to talk with three levels of managers in that store to not get charged for an additional month. One finally got it that since my contract expired August 3rd and I came in to cancel on August 4th,  I couldn’t have canceled on the 3rd because the contract was still in effect and I’d have to pay a penalty for early cancellation, so it would be, in Verizon-speak,
perhaps wrong for them to charge me for the full month of August. “Perhaps”, I really have grown to like that word….

The ownership of any and all photos, opinions, and/ or quotes above (including those of mine) belong to the material’s creator(s). Credit is given when it’s known, but because success usually has a million parents and failure is an orphan, blame will not be so attributed. 

P.S., check back for occasional updates and rewrites….

August 7, 2012 at 6:56 pm 1 comment

The Collision Of Two Technologies

Darwin’s Theory tells us how nature cleans up the gene pool by removing those undeserving of being able to reproduce. Well, now this has been substantiated by two technologies colliding (literally) to give it credence.

How Did He Manage To Keep It All Under His Hat?

On one hand (again, literally) we have the texting ability of the so called “smart-phone” user,  this is a person who has been gifted with a device that can totally block out any cognizance of the actual world around them as he or she careen down their own private path fixated on that little screen. This creates a situation in which that person now can share their inner thoughts with the entire twitter driven world any time they think they have just had an original thought. At the same time and with the same device, there are those who will be able to use that very same accessible technology to announce when they pass gas, an event that’s often equal to or of even greater value than that previously mentioned thought. 

Can You Text Yourself A Paramedic?

On the other hand, we now have the technology to manufacture cars that are able to, in absolute silence, weave in and out of the pedestrian’s usual domain of crosswalks and the curb area at corners.   The inevitable meet up between those walking / texting and the auto equivalent of the stealth fighters is going to take place somewhere around the shin to knee area of the average sized pedestrian.

Ankle Clean Up Coming Soon On Lane 3

To match up with those other 4 letter named electrically powered cars like the Nissan LEAF and the Chevrolet VOLT, I’d like to suggest that if Ford makes one it should be called the Ford FART SBD, or possibly the Ford FLATULENCE SBD. If you don’t get that SBD part, post a comment to this blog for a translation. However, to save a step you might find a clue by rereading about the attribute mentioned for the electrical cars in the paragraph above.

The SBD Rebel Alliance Farts Back!

The result of these impacts is predictable, and history shows that every time a few thousand pounds of vehicle meets up with a hundred or two pounds of flesh, the end result will almost always (here’s one exception) give the game, set, and match to the vehicle, or in other words, Charles Darwin rocks on in the 21st century.

blogInsert

N.B., The ownership of any and all photos, opinions, and / or quotes above (including those of my own) belong to the material’s creator(s). Credit is given when it’s known, but as we’ve found, success will have a million parents and failure will be an orphan.

Feel free to ignore any ads that are shown below this advisory, I don’t get to choose them and even more sadly, I don’t make a penny off any of them, so in the holy name of capitalism I rebuke and don’t endorse or support any of them, unless of course they’re made of funny stuff…..  

P.S., check back for occasional updates and rewrites….

FAIR USE NOTICE: THIS SITE MAY CONTAIN COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL, THE USE OF WHICH HAS NOT ALWAYS BEEN SPECIFICALLY AUTHORIZED BY THE COPYRIGHT OWNER. I AM MAKING SUCH MATERIAL AVAILABLE IN MY EFFORT TO ADVANCE UNDERSTANDING OF ENVIRONMENTAL, POLITICAL, HUMAN RIGHTS, ECONOMIC, DEMOCRACY, SCIENTIFIC, AND SOCIAL JUSTICE ISSUES, ETC. I BELIEVE THIS CONSTITUTES A ‘FAIR USE’ OF ANY SUCH COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL AS PROVIDED FOR IN SECTION 107 OF THE US COPYRIGHT LAW. IN ACCORDANCE WITH TITLE 17 U.S.C. SECTION 107, THE MATERIAL ON THIS SITE IS DISTRIBUTED WITHOUT PROFIT TO THOSE WHO HAVE EXPRESSED A PRIOR INTEREST IN RECEIVING THE INCLUDED INFORMATION FOR RESEARCH AND EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES BY ACCESSING MY BLOG. FOR MORE INFORMATION GO TO: HTTP://WWW.LAW.CORNELL.EDU/USCODE/17/107.SHTML.  IF YOU WISH TO USE COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL FROM THIS SITE FOR PURPOSES OF YOUR OWN THAT GO BEYOND ‘FAIR USE’, YOU MUST OBTAIN PERMISSION FROM THE COPYRIGHT OWNER.  SO THERE!

August 4, 2012 at 12:17 am Leave a comment

In Iran, Pushing Your Luck Is An Olympic Event

Now, as my protective brain fog lifts and I wake up from too little sleep after yet another 14 hour day working for a complete idiot on a sit-com pilot that no one will ever see, something becomes clear to me in the way things often do, a thought that should have been obvious to everyone but one no one has picked up on, sort of like a Viagra experience, it just popped up one day.

It feels great to be back on earth hours again!

Besides Israel, who do you suppose would show up on a list of the strongest opponents to Iran going into the Nuke flinging mode? Could it be the more or less within rocket range somewhat Western countries of Greece, Turkey, Germany, Russia,Ukraine, France, China, Pakistan, or maybe even India? 

Rockets? I don’t need no stinking rockets.

Nope, wrong… it’s none of the above. As of today, I’m going with Pakistan, Afghanistan, Iraq, Syria, Saudi Arabia and all of those tiny countries like Qatar, Jordan, West Bumfuckistan, and of course the rest of the ‘Stans that are usually known for being Islamic run countries.

Ja’maal got a gun….. la da da da dah

And the reason I feel secure enough to make this prediction? I’m thinking that some of the brighter lights in those countries have realized that with that first hit, no, make that just the first sign of a launch from Iran or Persia or whatever those folks choose to call themselves today that goes even vaguely in the direction of Israel, well that will be the exact moment you can write down in the history books as the one where Israel starts entering their launch codes that will vaporize each and every one of those above named Islamic countries. The technical term usually attached to this preventative process is “Mutually Assured Destruction“, or MAD. To be sure, it’s an interesting theory, but if it will actually work as a deterrent when dealing with clearly suicidal types that can easily be called just plain mad or not has yet to be tested.

Hey Hadji, I can’t see your house anymore

So that’s why I believe that this message is starting to sink home with Iran’s soulmate neighbors and Islamic Brotherhood buddies who might now finally have something to lose. I expect that soon a sit down meeting with Iran’s Paul Reubens jerkoff stunt double, President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, will take place and it will be one where they will do the jerking, and perhaps convince him to join the real world. 

Mahmoud!, don’t hit that button…

And the end result of all of those years of yelling, all of that firing AK-47’s in the air, all the screaming “Death to Israel” that mainly has served him to rouse the rabble, none of it will matter to  Mahmoud since his country will be just one of many glow in the dark glass covered parking lots….

Sadly, here in the U.S. we have our own psychopaths that speak to the coming of their “Rapture”, and how Israel getting nuked just moves their prophecy along one more step closer to the day of that lift off to heaven for the righteous and banishment to burn in hell with the rest of those non-believers. So far, there’s been no information provided on what the quality or quantity of virgins promised to them will be.

The beatings will continue until your morale improves

Yep, all that work to become a mere footnote in the history books, and no one will ever find out or care to know if Mahmoud got those 72 virgins.

 

N.B., The ownership of any and all photos, opinions, and/ or quotes above (including those of mine) belong to the material’s creator(s). Credit is given when it’s known, but as everyone knows, success usually has a million parents and failure is an orphan.

Feel free to ignore any ads that are shown below, I don’t get to choose them and (sadly) I don’t make a penny off any of them, so in the holy name of capitalism I rebuke and don’t endorse or support any of them, unless of course they’re made of funny stuff…..  

P.S., check back for occasional updates and rewrites….

FAIR USE NOTICE: THIS SITE CONTAINS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL THE USE OF WHICH HAS NOT ALWAYS BEEN SPECIFICALLY AUTHORIZED BY THE COPYRIGHT OWNER. I AM MAKING SUCH MATERIAL AVAILABLE IN MY EFFORT TO ADVANCE UNDERSTANDING OF ENVIRONMENTAL, POLITICAL, HUMAN RIGHTS, ECONOMIC, DEMOCRACY, SCIENTIFIC, AND SOCIAL JUSTICE ISSUES, ETC. I BELIEVE THIS CONSTITUTES A ‘FAIR USE’ OF ANY SUCH COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL AS PROVIDED FOR IN SECTION 107 OF THE US COPYRIGHT LAW. IN ACCORDANCE WITH TITLE 17 U.S.C. SECTION 107, THE MATERIAL ON THIS SITE IS DISTRIBUTED WITHOUT PROFIT TO THOSE WHO HAVE EXPRESSED A PRIOR INTEREST IN RECEIVING THE INCLUDED INFORMATION FOR RESEARCH AND EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES. FOR MORE INFORMATION GO TO: HTTP://WWW.LAW.CORNELL.EDU/USCODE/17/107.SHTML.  IF YOU WISH TO USE COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL FROM THIS SITE FOR PURPOSES OF YOUR OWN THAT GO BEYOND ‘FAIR USE’, YOU MUST OBTAIN PERMISSION FROM THE COPYRIGHT OWNER.  

 

August 2, 2012 at 1:38 pm 1 comment


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