That Line Your Cell Phone Co. Gives You?
To avoid potential legal issues I will only identify my cell phone company as one whose name starts with the same three letters as a word in Latin that means “truth”. Believe me, there is no other possible connection between these two words.
Hint (Thank you, LuLu): it may follow “In Wine” in a Latin phrase.
My old phone is still operational, somehow it’s managed to escape the death sentence that every other one of my previous phones from this company ran into when they hit the two year mark. I don’t know if it has a built in count-down timer chip, or if this company sends out some sort of a coded death ray signal to have the phone self-destruct, but either way the norm is that the phone will die about the same time that the contract does, i.e. when the deal expires, the phone coincidently does as well.
That being said, my contract with them ended a few months ago, so yesterday I went to their showroom to decide if I should stay with them now that I’m more or less a free agent who could be paying for their service month to month.
The No-Hitch-Cock “Dial-M” phone issued to “Free Agents”
My phone is still operational so I could, at least in theory anyway, just stay on with them without getting a new phone and being required to sign on to a new two year contractual agreement. A bit more about that contract… From the start it was explained to me that the locked in two year contract term with a massive penalty for ending it early was how they could amortize their giving me a new phone free or at a steep discount by paying a little extra each month.
Or so they said.
When I asked the “Stepford Wife” (go ahead, google it) at the desk if this meant that if I was to go on using my existing and now paid off phone, would I then receive a reduced monthly rate because I don’t have a new phone cost to amortize? She became a deer in the headlight and tried to change the subject with: “But you’ll miss out on all the newest features that your newer phone can provide you with a new contract”. I think that she was programmed to use any and all variations of “you” and “new”, which in addition to rhyming are the corporate authorized replacement words for “free”, they are used repetitiously to attract those with the attention span of a hummingbird.
The new Hummingbird Feeder Phone, filled with features
I derailed her conversation and routed it back to my original question but sadly no explanation was forthcoming from her or anyone else on the sales staff food chain up to and including the office manager for what I thought to be a simple and straightforward question; “When you say that my first two years of service payments have a built in extra monthly amount to pay down the cost of the phone you’ve provided to me for “FREE OR CHEAP”, after I finish paying for it, why does my ongoing bill continue to allocate this company money for something which I’ve already paid off? I left the office before the laughter even ended.
More Cel Phone grief? Click here for a related blog.
If you decide to take this question to your cell phone provider, please let me know if you have any better luck with it than I did. Oh yeah, click here for a previous post on a different cell phone issue.
N.B., The ownership of any and all photos, opinions, and / or quotes above (including those of my own) belong to the material’s creator(s). Credit is given when it’s known, but as we’ve found, success will have a million parents and failure will be an orphan.
Feel free to ignore any ads that are shown below this advisory, I don’t get to choose them and even more sadly, I don’t make a penny off any of them, so in the holy name of capitalism I rebuke and don’t endorse or support any of them, unless of course they’re made of funny stuff…..
P.S., check back for occasional updates and rewrites….
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Entry filed under: Uncategorized. Tags: a free agent, a word in latin that means truth, coded death ray signal, dial-m phone, escape the death sentence, hit the two year mark, latin for in wine, locked in two year contract term, my original question, no connection between those two, paying for my service month to month, stepford wife, thattention span of a hummingbird, the phone self destruct.