If “The Graduate” Was Re-Made Today…

Pay attention my droogs, the following is going to take us all on a very, even by my dubious standards, dark and convoluted path before it eventually returns to a message that, in my opinion, shouldn’t be missed. And for those in any branch of the legal profession that might have been following my tracks from previous postings or find this one from keyword flags that will pop up, everything that follows is strictly stated as only my opinion that I believe even now in the post Bush / Cheney years to still be covered by what’s left of the constitution, none of it is meant to be taken as any endorsement or a recommendation, nor is it meant to be giving directions or any sort of advice to anyone, anywhere, anytime. Hey, is there a place that will give me university level credit that could lead to a degree in covering my ass?

It’s hard for me to believe that it’s been a mere 45 years since Mike Nichols’ groundbreaking film “The Graduate” first hit the screens, and I feel there’s a serious need to update one of the famous and often quoted lines from Buck Henry’s script. Two of of the quotes which are best known are shown below, they were copied from the film’s page on the Internet Movie Data Base. And for the record, the line in need of updating is not the famous “you’re trying to seduce me” line which went like this:

Benjamin: For god’s sake, Mrs. Robinson. Here we are. You got me into your house. You give me a drink. You… put on music. Now you start opening up your personal life to me and tell me your husband won’t be home for hours.
Mrs. Robinson: So?
Benjamin: Mrs. Robinson, you’re trying to seduce me.
Mrs. Robinson: [laughs] Huh?
Benjamin: Aren’t you?

Nope, it’s this one:

Mr. McGuire: I want to say one word to you. Just one word.
Benjamin: Yes, sir.
Mr. McGuire: Are you listening?
Benjamin: Yes, I am.
Mr. McGuire: Plastics.
Benjamin: Just how do you mean that, sir?

That word “plastics” was meant to express what the future was going to be revolving around, and part of a push to get Benjamin into it as a business. However plastics is in need of an update with two words, and those words are “Lexan” and “Kevlar”. I have to say that I feel that this update is due to an somewhat predictable set of events that are going on worldwide, sort of  creating a freight train coming at us full bore down the tracks effect. At this point I’d like to again make it very clear that I’m only reporting on that which I can see coming, I’m not in any way advocating these or any other sorts of actions, physical or otherwise, against anyone anywhere.

That being said, this is why I recommend the purchase of stock in the makers of Lexan (I think that the owner of the patent on it is G.E., a company that used the motto “We bring good things to life” in the past), and Kevlar (which I believe is made under the patent of DuPont, the same folks that brought Napalm to the world. Napalm should have had the motto “You can run, but you’ll just die tired”). Anyway, these are two materials that are famous for their ability to keep bullets and other sharp intrusive and harmful items from entering the bodies of people. Maybe that should read “lucky” people.

Kevlar is commonly found in use as a material to make body armor or make cars and trucks at least somewhat explosion proof, it’s relatively light in weight yet it’s able to stop most shrapnel and projectiles coming fr0m most types of ammunition that a person might run into dealing with the everyday situations of law enforcement and security folks. Or those who are attending sporting events, and as seen in Arizona, political rallies.

Lexan, while often called “Bullet Proof” Glass, is actually the “Bullet Proof” part of the description, and often is used in place of glass in the windows found in celebrity or political limousines, office buildings or in retrospect, what Osama binLadin should have had his sunglasses made out of. A more accurate name might be bullet resistant, as the cat and mouse paradigm says that as one side gets tougher, the other side will rise to match it or exceed it, and then we find it’s a “vice versa” flip around.

At this time we find that those who are well off, or those who think they will soon be and don’t want those products to become a major part of their life are moving into one sort or another of  protective, gated and fenced in communities. At the same time, the uber-wealthy are moving themselves to islands or limited access peninsulas with plenty of close by fun places to spend their time at, places which are heavily guarded 24/7 by private armies of well armed goons.

And the poor and former middle class? Well, they also are on the move as, but for the most part into 10 to 20 year old Chevrolets and Fords, or sleeping under freeway overpasses. The ones who were better prepared are sleeping in tents hidden away in the dense parts of the national parks and forests that have not yet been sold off to the oligarchs to monetize.

So the real question that all the above begs is, how long will it be before the have-nots (remember, many of them will have had military training, some saw service in Iraq and Afghanistan, and they may have access to weapons or money) realize that they have nothing to lose? And in a flashback to the above mentioned cat and mouse paradigm, it will be at that exact moment that the street sales of Barrett Sniper Rifles, as well as Kevlar and Lexan made product sales will, if you’ll pardon the term, explode.

If you have the chance to watch re-runs of the t.v. series “The Unit” (some of the cast above, view it on Netflix or buy the DVDs), you will be given a front row seat in an advanced class that can take place on either side of what I think is going to go down. To me it’s mostly a question of when, not if.

Rick Perry learns all prayers are answered

I’ve said many times that all prayers are answered, but sometimes the answer is no..

Now, in spite of being a lifelong atheist I’ve been convinced by Texas governor and lately presidential candidate Rick Perry that prayers may be the only way to get things done, so here I go.

I’m starting off small, with a prayer for something the size of your average walnut. To eliminate any trace of ambiguity, let’s cut to the chase and call it a tumor.

The doctor says it’s right here

I’m thinking it into existence inside the head of the above mentioned governor, and I ask my friends (yeah, both of you) to join me and focus on this since there’s a chance that if indeed prayers are answered, more requests might be like buying more lottery tickets, it sort boosts the odds.

And the Doctor says it’s only this big (so far)

Attention law enforcement and legal types. Please note that there is not a photo or drawing in this post showing Governor Perry with crosshairs on his head, Sarah Palin has the original claim to that technique and besides, anyone that thinks this could actually work is, to quote Lewis Black, DELUSIONAL.

O.K., it’s now mid-August at the, uh, onset of this project, with no idea of what the timeframe is going to be, but hopefully it’s not going to go down too quickly as we don’t want to leave that door open to Michele Bachmann for too long.

While you’re in Chemo, I’ll be happy to stand in for you Rick…..

However, if it does work perhaps we’ll have a chance to scientifically test it on multiple subjects, politicians along with certain ex-wives come to mind.

Then I Said, “Wilde, About Those Nipples…”

There are a few really outstanding points worth seeing in “Cowboys and Aliens”, and they both appear on screen at the same time (well, they do usually travel in pairs). This happens whenever Olivia, I pronounce her name “Ooh-Livvv-yah, Wilde appears on screen. She happens to be, in my humble opinion, one of the most beautiful women in the world and well worth wading through all those old “House” reruns just to catch a glimpse of.

You might think with all the millions they spent on cast, crew, equipment, special effects and all, there might have been a few dollars left in the budget to pick up a bra for the exotic Olivia, after all, she’s the lead actress. I’m not complaining about this one bit, I just see it as a safety issue since someone could have lost an eye had it been a little colder on the set. And what a fine set that is, what with all of  the see-through wardrobe items at work, especially in those that got wet in the rain and river scenes. And I’m not going to mention the re-birth rise she does from the campfire, except that, well, I guess that I just did.

If it please the court your Honor,  People’s Exhibits “A”!

I heard that there might have been some stuff in this film about space aliens blowing things up and killing people, and that James Bond and Han Solo (sometimes referred to as Daniel Craig and Harrison Ford) are supposed to be in this movie, but I was a little pre-occupied visually, if you get my drift. Maybe you can find a review some women wrote to find out more about them.

And, among all of those dozens of writers, producers, and folks downstream from them (I’m always sort of put off when there are more producers than grips listed in the credits), you’d think that there might have been at least one of them that did their simple physics/geography homework and realized that if someone is launching a normal “crack of dawn” sort of posse chase and that character says they will go North, a direction in which he supposedly then points towards, the actors and horses shadows should be falling on the actors left side (a.k.a. Camera Right). That is, of course, if he’s pointing North and the sun is rising as it usually does, in the East. This reminds me a little bit of how in Apollo 13 former Bosom Buddy actor Tom Hanks was relaxing in his backyard looking up at the moon which, in a shot of his point of view, we see he blocks on and off with his thumb. However, in the reverse of that point of view shot where you would suppose since he was out in the dark yard, the light on his face would have to be coming from the moon yet that thumb shadow is somehow not only not on his eye, it’s not even on his face, but shows up off to one side on the cushion. One tricky moon there, showing us how the shortest distance between two points (o.k. already, enough about Olivia) is one straight line that, it seems, might get bent a little as needed for lighting purposes.

Artistic License gives the moon’s light a slice, or is that a hook?

N.B., The ownership of any and all photos, opinions, and/ or quotes above (including those of my own) belong to the material’s creator(s). Credit is given when it’s known, but as everyone knows, success usually has a million parents and failure is an orphan.

Feel free to ignore any ads that are shown below this advisory, I don’t get to choose them and even more sadly, I don’t make a penny off any of them, so in the holy name of capitalism I rebuke and don’t endorse or support any of them, unless of course they’re made of funny stuff…..  

P.S., check back for occasional updates and rewrites….

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