Solve for X, X=Government Funding

March 10, 2010 at 6:52 am Leave a comment

What’s the big deal about raising money for the government to be able to have the funds to be able to operate in these difficult times?

Government Funding Made Easy……

All that’s needed is for someone to deputize me to issue parking tickets for any cars that are parked in handicapped only parking spots and shouldn’t be. For motivation, merely give me 25% of the returns from those tickets I write. No one else seems to be doing it for the government, and how many times have you seen a cop give a ticket to car parked in such a zone lately?

There are those that will say being stupid is a handicap, which of course can be disproved by merely pointing to the George W. Bush presidency. Or, maybe that’s not such a good choice for an example. When my mother told me as a child that anyone can grow up to be president, I’m sure she wasn’t thinking of someone of George’s caliber (small bore), but he got in, stole us blind, and got  away with the funds he will receive as kick backs from his butt buddies and the corporations for which they stand.

I see so many cars that are parked in those spots every day, the ones that have the little blue plastic card with the wheelie guy, usually one that was hung quickly on the rear view mirror as the car was still rolling to a stop into that dedicated spot, and that’s just moments before some obese clown jumps out and runs into to the 7-11 to buy a pack of cigarettes or a carton of beer.

So clever, these bozos.

The way it works is that from time to time they give their elder parent a ride so they can get the old fart’s doctor to give them a letter for the DMV to get the pass or even a special plate, and then they use it as their own get out of jail free pass.

Or, in variation two, they simply pay off a doctor (things are tough all over) to write up their paperwork. In real life, their main handicap consists of a few gray hairs and an extra 30 to 50 pounds hanging over the belt buckle.

So if we can make the fine amount to a not so unusually high $400.00 for a first offense, that would make a nice start.

And on a good day I write 75 tickets (if you don’t believe that number, hide and watch me) a day, …..well, you do the math, and after each 5 day week with 10 hours a day, I’ll be on a plane Friday night and spending my weekends in Kauai.

Aloha, live long and perspire indeed……

Update!!!

A few hours after I wrote the above material, there was a story in the Los Angeles Times about a plan that Barack Obama has for fighting fraud in Medicare and Medicaid by hiring private auditors, a.k.a.  “bounty hunters” armed with computer programs to scan billing data for patterns of bogus claims, and they would get a part of any funds they recover for the government. Well, I could save even more because all that I need is a direct phone link to the L.A.P.D. to put the “boot” on cars for me, a sure way to get the weasels to cough up the cash!

Yeah, “Bounty Hunter”, I could live with that……

N.B., The ownership of any and all photos, opinions, and / or quotes above (including those of my own) belong to the material’s creator(s). Credit is given when it’s known, but as we’ve found, success will have a million parents and failure will be an orphan.
Feel free to ignore any ads that are shown below this advisory, I don’t get to choose them and even more sadly, I don’t make a penny off any of them, so in the holy name of capitalism I rebuke and don’t endorse or support any of them, unless of course they’re made of funny stuff…..
P.S., check back for occasional updates and rewrites….
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