Famous Last Words

August 7, 2008 at 9:11 pm 4 comments

On the 9th of August, 2008, protons will be piped through the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) magnets for the first time. This would be a questionable idea even if it was not being done partly in France, where piping hot protons seems to be more acceptable than errors in spoken pronunciation or grammar, n’est-ce pas vrai?. This full beam injection will take place at an energy level of about 450 gigaelectronvolts (GeV), note that batteries are not included. Over subsequent weeks, engineers will gradually boost the energy and fine tune the machine until it’s up to the level of power used by Doc Brown’s flying DeLorean last seen in the happily over series of “Back To The Future” films.

$10 Million invested, receipts from Pepboys to prove it!

$10 Million invested, Pepboys recipts to prove it!

 The purpose of this test is to help ensure that the LHC is working in step with its injector, which is known as the Super Proton Synchrotron (SPS) Accelerator. This sounds like a lot of very expensive and dangerous equipment that one has to hope wasn’t put together using the “lowest bid gets the contract” type of deal. But then again, neither our resident (I still won’t call him “President”) G.W. Bush or members of his “base” were involved in that bidding process. This is all taking place in a tunnel that runs beneath parts of Switzerland and France, and is operated by CERN – the European Organisation for Nuclear Research. And yes, I can see that the acronym doesn’t even come close to matching the words. I guess the if you had used the first letters from the actual words and spelled out RENO, it might have implied that there was some sort of gamble involved with this potentially world ending crap shoot.

This is the most powerful physics experiment ever built, with some pointy heads believing that the LHC will re-create the conditions that were present in the universe just after the Big Bang, so you could call it a “Big Bang Theory”, if you choose.

Other, less pointy headed thinkers have expressed an idea that this might re-create the conditions present just before the original Big Bang, and cause the end of the world as we know it, so the real problem with this method is that we actually won’t know it’s too late until it’s too late for someone to say “Hey, wait a minute!”.

It has been suggested that the last sound heard in the moments before the 1st Big Bang was “Uh Oh”, however that’s just supposition, as it happened so long ago that John McCain was just a kid. 

N.B., The ownership of any and all photos, opinions, and/ or quotes above (including those of mine) belong to the material’s creator(s). Credit is given when it’s known, but as everyone knows, success usually has a million parents and failure is an orphan.

Feel free to ignore any ads that are shown below, I don’t get to choose them and (sadly) I don’t make a penny off any of them, so in the holy name of capitalism I rebuke and don’t endorse or support any of them, unless of course they’re made of funny stuff…..  

P.S., check back for occasional updates and rewrites….

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Personal Ad: City ISO Newpaper, NSA I got your Large Hadron Collider, hanging right here..

4 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Bob Byrne  |  August 8, 2008 at 5:52 pm

    And your point is?

    Reply
  • 2. boskolives  |  August 8, 2008 at 6:09 pm

    Point? I don’t gotta show you no stinkin’ point.

    No, really, I just wanted to see who if anyone would respond. So far averaging about 4,500 hits a month, it’s you and Barbara.

    Peace on you,
    Jerry

    Reply
  • 3. beejay  |  August 9, 2008 at 1:24 am

    What the F? Where was G[od] a[W]ful Bush? Was he asleep or just on vacay? That kind of pretzel logic seems to have his name written all over it.

    Not only do you not gotta show no stinking point, it is you stinkin’ duty not to!

    Reply
  • 4. Back to the Future DeLorean Time Machine Rental  |  March 19, 2009 at 3:57 pm

    I really wish this thought would have come true.

    Reply

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