Archive for May, 2008
Got Lost? Again?
Full disclosure (one more time), I watch very, very, very little television. Maybe a bit of the news from time to time, and “My Name Is Earl”, if I can somehow remember the time to turn on the tv. Further, I’ve never seen a complete reality show, never watched American Idol or Survivor at all, nor do I regret it.
This personal boycott of mine started about 15 years ago when I turned on the t.v. at 8 pm to watch some stupid sit-com (I know, redundant), and then suddenly Letterman was on. I had no memory of what was on during that 3+ hour blink, it just all went by my eyes in a blur.
So, on that night I gave up television.
Last Thursday night was almost an out of body experience, as I watched three straight hours, minus a ton of commercials, of “Lost”. I can’t explain why it happened, it just happened. The strangest thing that etched its way into my mind is that the actress playing the mother of “Jack” looked almost exactly like the actress playing “Kate”, but well aged (or should that be aged well?).
Maybe it was the same actress playing both roles? This would be fine with me as I think she, well, the “Kate” one, is truly beautiful and a pleasure for this guy to watch. And, for broadcast t.v., she spent a lot of time bent over wearing low cut blouses, sure lucky for us guys that her father taught her how to lean way down and read foot prints when tracking someone huh? Actually, the show seemed to have a large percentage of the female members of the cast dressed like this and bent over for one reason or another. Perhaps this is why so many people have had so much trouble getting off the island? Or why I had trouble standing erect? Or didn’t have that problem?
Because as I stated in my viewing profile above, my opinion isn’t worth much to the owners of the material since I’m far from being a typical audience member, but there must be a price point that the producers of this show could research out, and then sell a complete linear collection of the story for. Tell me that cost for a re-edited version, so it’s all in one straight run from the crash to the events in the future. I’d pay $100.00 for such a DVD collection that didn’t have any of the annoying scrolling tapes running across the bottom of the screen with educational material for those that missed or slept through the previous episodes describing what we’ve / you’ve missed.
And who the hell was the guy in the coffin? And bug eyed “Ben”? That guy that reminds me of Tom McClintock, that overly twisted right wing wacko carpetbagger politician from Ventura County that is so over the top that he can’t (or so it seems) blink?
Google his name and look at the photos if you doubt that description.
Since weed users own 420, then….
… What number could then be assigned to those of us that hold in high worship Ben and Jerry’s “Chunky Monkey” ice cream? 421? I haven’t used recreational drugs for more years than I can remember, but the high I get from this stuff is scary good. Perhaps my memory gap is caused by that early substance usage, but that’s another story for another day.
Ah, but I’ve digressed once again, so let’s get back to our exhibit “A”, the ice cream treat that should be available by prescription only, and the exact name of which I shall not mention again, lest I am forced to make a run for the freezer section of the local stop and rob.
Full disclosure, I have severe lactose intolerance. So there will be no spontaneous treats for me that come from a cow, pizza included. Sadly, all my dairy based consumables must be preceded by some sort of drug (Lactaid, for example) to prevent me from becoming even more unwelcome than usual as I move into the gaseous state. And, don’t ask about my “solid” state unless you’re prepared to give up pizza forever.
If you should happen to see me walking along holding a cup with the last remains of a (usually chocolate) milkshake held firmly in my hand, don’t make the mistake of following behind me into an elevator.
This should be considered a very strong safety warning if you’re vertically challenged. And it’s an especially important rule to follow if you’re that short and are smoking, and wish to keep your eyebrows.
Oh yeah, about finding that number…… Well, I’m open to any suggestions other than 31 as Baskin Robbins seems to have a copyright locked that one up. And, don’t bother to suggest 13, the pot heads probably have that one sewn up too, you know that the 13th letter is “M”, and what with all that prison look tattoo nonsense…..
N.B., The ownership of any and all photos, opinions, and/ or quotes above (including those of my own) belong to the material’s creator(s). Credit is given when it’s known, but as everyone knows, success usually has a million parents and failure is an orphan.
Feel free to ignore any ads that are shown below, I don’t get to choose them and (sadly) I don’t make a penny off any of them, so in the holy name of capitalism I rebuke and don’t endorse or support any of them, unless of course they’re made of funny stuff…..
P.S., check back for occasional updates and rewrites….
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Republicans find a new use for gays…
No, I’m not talking about toe tapping meetings in restrooms, I’m talking about getting out the vote.
There’s nothing like a hot button issue launched just before the elections to rouse the knuckle dragging hard drinking gun toting unemployed pin headed bottom feeders to the voting booth, Herr Karl Rove taught them that simple truth years ago.
Cogito non, Ergo Bush…
Now, we find that a republican judge in California will allow (some might say drag) the gay folk “out” to get married, creating a perfect storm that will bring out the hesitant right wing old farts that would otherwise skip this election, as most are not happy to hold their collective noses and vote for John McFlipflop, even out there in those Seizure World retirement homes.
All this is, of course, just the precursor for the real hit, the infamous “October Surprise” that Bush has hinted that the country should be getting ready for during past few days.
Just my take, as always double your money back if not satisfied……
Clue # 3 for Barack Obama
Keep it simple.
When Bush makes this kind of punk statement about you (see below) regarding “appeasement”, immediately make it part of the public record exactly who this opinion is coming from.
This war time draft dodger in the White House is a person who is responsible for the elimination of billions of U.S. Dollars from our economy, the loss of the once great respect we had around the world, and the loss of thousands of U.S. lives. If you want to say he’s not the only one, remember the quote “the fish rots from the head”.
And by the way, much of this was done to speed up the transfer of dollars from the treasury to the mega-corporations, a multi purpose move as it also will speed up the bankruptcy the fed budget for entitlement programs, i.e. Social Security among others that the Rethuglicans have been trying to do for years.
*** Quote from the source of all wisdom of the “Fox” world…..
“Some seem to believe we should negotiate with terrorists and radicals, as if some ingenious argument will persuade them they have been wrong all along,” Bush said.
Without mentioning Obama by name, Bush compared “this foolish delusion” to the prelude to World War Two.
“As Nazi tanks crossed into Poland in 1939, an American senator declared: ‘Lord, if only I could have talked to Hitler, all of this might have been avoided.’ We have an obligation to call this what it is — the false comfort of appeasement, which has been repeatedly discredited by history,” he said.
Instead of having this un-named senator talk to Hitler, it might have been easier if Bush could have had another Senator, like perhaps Grandpa Prescott Bush, talk to Shicklegruber at the same time he was doing business with him, business dealings which continued until his company’s assets were seized in 1942 under the Trading with the Enemy Act. Profits from this funded the Bush crime family’s rise to power.
Here’s a link, or google “Prescott Bush” to find dozens of others.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2004/sep/25/usa.secondworldwar
Perhaps this is where G.H.W. Bush learned to deal with the Saudi’s, and the chimp with China?
There Once Was A Time…
…. a time when if I heard a police officer had been shot, I’d hope that they caught the shooter. Now, my first response would be to ask if it was a real cop or just a wanna be meter maid.
If it was a “Lovely Rita” meter maid, I’d be hard pressed to feel too much sympathy, and that has nothing to do with the jive ass ticket I got in Venice a month ago where I was cited for parking for more than two hours. It seems that even though you keep feeding the meter, you have to move your car out of the spot a few feet, and then it’s o.k. to return and park again and feed the meter more quarters.
That was sure topped this morning while I was driving around endless blocks in Hollywood trying to find a spot to park. At that time, I saw a woman enter her car and start it up, I waited one car back in the traffic lane and waved cars around me while I waited for her to leave. A traffic control office pulled in behind me, and after I waved for her to go around, she pulled along side and said I couldn’t double park. I pointed out that “I’m not double parking, I’m not parking at all, I’m only waiting for that car to leave so I could get this parking space”.
Miss paragon of warmth informed me that there was a maximum 18 inches from the curb to tire requirement, so I was double parking. Again, I said that I’m not parking, I’m just waiting for the space to open up.
Because there’s always the chance that some parking ticket from my distant past might have fallen off my windshield (windscreen in Brit talk), this means that there’s always a distant possibility that a warrant is out there somewhere waiting for me, so rather than take that risk I chose to move on.
It’s a good thing that she didn’t get out of her little gas saving mobile headquarters of parking control, and bend over to check on my front license plate. You know those accidents where your car accelerates by itself, or your foot slips off the brake and floors the gas?
I’m not saying that I’d do anything like that, or recommend anyone else to do this.
I’m only saying……
6 months, max……
That’s my prediction for the duration of the marriage of Jenna Bush and that idiot Henry Hager. Picture someone running at full speed down the pier trying to jump on the Titanic as it’s leaving its mooring, is that a clear enough image of Henry?
It will probably take even less time for the new groom to sweep himself clean out of the love nest he’ll try to make for the lesser of the two first daughters, too bad he got the one that looks like her commander in chimp father, instead of the (i.m.h.o.) cuter one that looks like her mother.
Mmmm, bragging rights to being married to the daughter of the worst ever president of the U.S.A. will quickly drop even further in value once the love birds lose their access to the white house, especially if “W” leaves office wearing tar and feathers as so many of us expect.
Perhaps at the wedding reception they’ll have a frog march procession in place of a conga line?
Gotta wonder about the pre-nup, were there stipulations regarding non-disclosure of stupid things said off camera by the papa-in-law?
Truthout.org again?
My fears and predictions of what “October” (or near then) surprise we have in store for us from prezadidnt Bush have once again been substantiated, the jiggling around with the election process is in the works:
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2006/050908P.shtml
The only good part of this is that at least some of the back room mechanizations of the oh-so clean John McCain have surfaced.
I’m waiting for the other boot to drop, the one with the brown squishy stuff stuck on the bottom.
It’s not who you knew….
It’s who you…. er….. Monica’d? Um, or maybe just Blewinskied?
Well, it seems that the so called “D.C. Madam” was found dead of self inflicted injuries, or so they say. I suppose it’s just a bit more believable that she hung herself, than if it was announced that she had shot herself in the back. Maybe three times. With a 12 gauge shotgun. A pump shotgun at that.
I also have to suppose that her customer list died with her. Well, except for an unlucky fu sort like Sen. David Vitter, a Louisiana Republican who was a frequent flyer, as it were, with her service.
I think all’s not yet done with this simmering pot of weasels…….
Dog Bless Us One And All 