Greetings from North East Bumfuckistan!

June 24, 2007 at 11:12 pm 2 comments

North East Bumfuckistan is the location of my current job, doing location sound recording on yet another zombie, vampire, or kids in danger and being killed off film (video, actually) that no one will ever see.
This place is called “Lake Isabella” by the indigenous (trailer park type) folk, but that name really doesn’t do justice to an area that is really trying to work it’s way up to being a 3rd world country.
Do you want to communicate with the outside world? Best of luck to you, try using cel service or internet access and you’re limited to the choices of little or none. The local cel service (“service” is a stretch) provider that I think is called something like “Lyric Communications” has the most amazing lack of power, your calls are dropped faster than Paris Hilton’s attempts at rehab.
My phone will show three out of four possible bars of reception, so feeling hopeful, I hit send. After a brief wait as it tries to connect, it starts to ring, someone answers, and then four to five words into the conversation it loses the call. I’ve tried the usual tricks when I’m in an iffy reception area in Los Angeles, I put it in speaker phone mode so I can keep it motionless as I wait, but even this only allows me to watch the bars of reception vanish in a beat, and the phone goes dead.
I have a handy little wi-fi service sniffer that allows me to drive around an apartment complex or business office park and find any available wireless connection that isn’t protected, then use my powerbook to jump on line to check my e-mail when I’m on the road. Here there is no detection of any such life here, even in any of the mobile home parks where dish receivers for satellite tv are the only sign that some people are at least into the 1980’s science level of life.
You can get online if you wait in line for a few hours at the library, and get to use one of the bloated virus magnets (i.e., internet explorer) on the trashed public access computers. That’s only if the local tattoo covered monkeys will obey the posted one hour usage limit and get offline to let the next on the list use one of the four computers. Yes, they really have four computers, a few of which will work at any given time.
Choice “B” is to go to the McDonalds (yes, a real Mickey D’s) and pay $3.00 USD for two hours of limited bliss on what seems to be at least a 14.4 (could be a 28k) modem speed connection. I stated that as $3.00 USD because I’m amazed they use U.S. currency here, not large shiny rocks for transactions.
But I’m not bitter, oh no. I could be stuck somewhere out in Kern County, just far enough from L.A. to not be able to see my home for a few weeks. And that’s the reason that I’ve been unable to update here for a while, not because my dog ate my Cat-5 cable.

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Entry filed under: Uncategorized.

The Boogieman Returneth Hey, talk to the ventriloquist, will ya!!

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. ~cuttsy~  |  July 3, 2007 at 12:17 pm

    Last week I was in Scotland, up a mountain in the highlands. It’s a great view, no signs of civilzation for miles and miles, mountains, lochs, sheep and cattle. I flip open the cell phone, log on to mobile internet check my share prices, trade a little and get on with the hiking.

    2 months ago I was in Africa, visting tribal villages along the Zambezi river we were surprised to see some of the children pull out their cell phones and text friends, we were amazed at how far technology has spread across the world, especially blogging from a ramshackle hut in a village.

    It seems if Bumfuckistan makes it to 3rd world status the phones and net will actually work!

    ~cuttsy~
    http://www.cuttsy.com

    Reply
  • 2. Sandy  |  July 9, 2007 at 7:07 pm

    Hey this wi-fi service sniffer sounds interesting. Can you tell me the approx cost, where to buy etc?

    Reply

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