Greetings from North East Bumfuckistan!
North East Bumfuckistan is the location of my current job, doing location sound recording on yet another zombie, vampire, or kids in danger and being killed off film (video, actually) that no one will ever see.
This place is called “Lake Isabella” by the indigenous (trailer park type) folk, but that name really doesn’t do justice to an area that is really trying to work it’s way up to being a 3rd world country.
Do you want to communicate with the outside world? Best of luck to you, try using cel service or internet access and you’re limited to the choices of little or none. The local cel service (“service” is a stretch) provider that I think is called something like “Lyric Communications” has the most amazing lack of power, your calls are dropped faster than Paris Hilton’s attempts at rehab.
My phone will show three out of four possible bars of reception, so feeling hopeful, I hit send. After a brief wait as it tries to connect, it starts to ring, someone answers, and then four to five words into the conversation it loses the call. I’ve tried the usual tricks when I’m in an iffy reception area in Los Angeles, I put it in speaker phone mode so I can keep it motionless as I wait, but even this only allows me to watch the bars of reception vanish in a beat, and the phone goes dead.
I have a handy little wi-fi service sniffer that allows me to drive around an apartment complex or business office park and find any available wireless connection that isn’t protected, then use my powerbook to jump on line to check my e-mail when I’m on the road. Here there is no detection of any such life here, even in any of the mobile home parks where dish receivers for satellite tv are the only sign that some people are at least into the 1980’s science level of life.
You can get online if you wait in line for a few hours at the library, and get to use one of the bloated virus magnets (i.e., internet explorer) on the trashed public access computers. That’s only if the local tattoo covered monkeys will obey the posted one hour usage limit and get offline to let the next on the list use one of the four computers. Yes, they really have four computers, a few of which will work at any given time.
Choice “B” is to go to the McDonalds (yes, a real Mickey D’s) and pay $3.00 USD for two hours of limited bliss on what seems to be at least a 14.4 (could be a 28k) modem speed connection. I stated that as $3.00 USD because I’m amazed they use U.S. currency here, not large shiny rocks for transactions.
But I’m not bitter, oh no. I could be stuck somewhere out in Kern County, just far enough from L.A. to not be able to see my home for a few weeks. And that’s the reason that I’ve been unable to update here for a while, not because my dog ate my Cat-5 cable.
Entry filed under: Uncategorized.