Archive for April, 2012

That Line Your Cell Phone Co. Gives You?

To avoid potential legal issues I will only identify my cell phone company as one whose name starts with the same three letters as a word in Latin that means “truth”. Believe me, there is no other possible connection between these two words. 

Hint (Thank you, LuLu): it may follow “In Wine” in a Latin phrase.

It fits that the corporate voice comes from below

My old phone is still operational, somehow it’s managed to escape the death sentence that every other one of my previous phones from this company ran into when they hit the two year mark. I don’t know if it has a built in count-down timer chip, or if this company sends out some sort of a coded death ray signal to have the phone self-destruct, but either way the norm is that the phone will die about the same time that the contract does. When the deal expires, the phone coincidently does as well.

Yep, two years and you’re out

That being said, my contract with them ended a few months ago, so yesterday I went to their showroom to decide if I should stay with them now that I’m more or less a free agent who could be paying for my service month to month.

 Can you hear me now? I said give me your wallet!!!

The No-Hitch-Cock “Dial-M” phone issued to “Free Agents”

My phone is still operational so I could, at least in theory, just stay on with them without getting a new phone and being required to sign on to a new two year contractual agreement. A bit more about that contract… From the start it was explained to me that the locked in two year contract term with a massive penalty for ending it early was how they could amortize their giving me a new phone free or at a steep discount by paying a little extra each month.

Or so they said.

Next year’s model will be called the “ATM-HD

When I asked the “Stepford Wife” (go ahead, google it) at the desk if this meant that if I was to go on using my existing and now paid off phone, would I then receive a reduced monthly rate because I don’t have a new phone cost to amortize. She became a deer in the headlight and tried to change the subject with: “But you’ll miss out on all the newest features that your newer phone can provide to you with a new contract”. I think that she was programmed to use any and all variations of “your” and “new”, which are the corporate authorized replacement words for “free”, they are used repetitiously to attract those with the attention span of a hummingbird.

The upgrade model is “Hands Free

The new Hummingbird Feeder Phone, filled with features

I derailed her conversation and routed it back to my original question. Sadly, no explanation was forthcoming from her or anyone else on the sales staff food chain up to  and including the office manager for what I thought to be a simple, straightforward question; “When you say that my first two years of service payments have a built in extra monthly amount to pay down the cost of the phone you’ve provided to me for “FREE OR CHEAP”, after I finish paying for it, why does my ongoing bill continue to allocate this company money for something which I’ve already paid off? I left the office before the laughter even ended.

More Cel Phone grief? Click here for a related blog.

Unchain my phone, baby set me free…….

If you decide to take this question to your cell phone provider, please let me know if you have any better luck with it than I did. Oh yeah, click here for a previous post on a different cell phone issue.  

Here’s an update to this story

The ownership of any and all photos, opinions, and/ or quotes above (including those of mine) belong to the material’s creator(s). Credit is given when it’s known, but because success usually has a million parents and failure is an orphan, blame can not be so attributed.


April 24, 2012 at 6:24 pm 5 comments

That Gaseous Bubble Surfaces, Again….

A few quotes from me with regards to similar numbers, but for opposite reasons…

A few months ago I saw this

Image

At that time I remember saying, “Hey, look, now we’re almost up to $4.00 a gallon for regular.”, and I was furious that I was being raped in the rear(Well, that’s where I carry my wallet), again.

It seems that those gas prices which were once on their way up, are now slowly on their way back down…..

Image

Did Al Capone need to post a notice when he grabbed the money?

Today I said: “Hey, look, now we’re almost down to $4.00 a gallon for regular.”, Somehow I’m expected to be happy to see this change?

It seems that I’ve been reprogrammed, I’ve made it successfully through yet another “re-eduction” cycle, one in which I’ve been taught to be grateful for paying “Only” $4.00 (USD) a gallon for gas, much the same way as I was taught to be comfortable with $3.00 a gallon gas a few years ago, and $2.00 a gallon gas a few years before that, and etc, etc, etc………..

Image

I know that speculators have to eat too, but must they use golden plates?

The ownership of any and all photos, opinions, and/ or quotes above (including those of mine) belong to the material’s creator(s). Credit is given when it’s known, but because success usually has a million parents and failure is an orphan, blame can not be so attributed.


April 21, 2012 at 6:49 pm 2 comments

Take this hose and stick it…..

Earlier today I paid $104.55 to fill up my “Bulgemobile”, a Chevy Uplander.

If memory serves, which it still does on an occasional basis, I have in the past bought many running but in need of minor repair cars for less than that, cars that I fixed  up and then sold quickly to supplement the money I received from the G.I. Bill while I was going to school.

My first car was a 1950 Oldsmobile Futuramic 88, I paid $10.00 for it.

I purchased that Olds for ten dollars in cash, and it was still in great shape when I sold it with an near empty gas tank for $75.00 after driving it for a year. Now I’m thinking that it’s probably worth at least a few grand on the classic car circuit, so it goes. Just to add a bit of insult to an old injury, it had over 10 gallons of gas in it and was running o.k. when I bought it for that crisp ten dollar bill. By the way, that’s not me in the driver’s seat (nor the passenger seat). Full disclosure, I once did end up in the passenger seat , it was on my first time out in the car and followed a (much too) sharp left turn from Sepulveda on to Sawtelle in an attempt to beat the oncoming traffic. I installed a seat belt a little later that same day, pausing only for a quick wardrobe change that was necessitated by that quick slide across the J.C. Whitney plastic one piece seat cover.  To its credit, that plastic did keep me from having a car with permanent skid marks inside the cabin.

The ownership of any and all photos, opinions, and quotes above (including my own) belong to the material’s creators, credit is given when known.

April 17, 2012 at 3:39 pm 1 comment

Putting a different spin on things….

Whenever I watch the T.V. news coverage about tornadoes that have smashed the living crap out of many small towns in the central part of the United States, I’ve noticed that almost to a one, when interviewed many survivors crawling out of a bathtub will say that “God saved us” or “God spared us”.

What I’ve also noticed is that those that were crushed under a bathtub and didn’t survive that gentle touch from the hand of god have said, eh….. well, not so much. 

Image

You might notice that many of those areas that show the highest incidence of damage from the tornadoes are indicated on the map by sort of a reddish color. Perhaps it might be a coincidence, but most of them (i.e., Texas, Mississippi, Alabama, Oklahoma, Nebraska, Iowa, Kansas, Arkansas, Indiana, etc….) are also described as “Red States”, because they tend to vote for republicans. Is it true or false that payback is a bitch? I’ll just call them as fair and balanced as I see them, you decide….

Full Disclosure: Because I have an ex-wife and the ex-house she “acquired” in Greenfield, Indiana,  I watch the storm news with mixed feelings, and truth be told a hope that if a house is going to drop on some bitch witch, well……...

The ownership of any and all photos, opinions, images and quotes above (including my own) belong to the material’s creators, credit is given when known, blame is not. 

April 17, 2012 at 3:35 am 1 comment

Related to the Indiana Wife Joke

It’s been reported that people who spend most of their day sitting are more likely to die of heart disease, so I’ve been trying to stay on my feet the past few days.

As a result of this very personal research, I’ve learned that a person likely won’t live longer from standing all day, it will just seem that way.

And how does this relate to that Indiana Wife joke?

A man who has been getting sicker every day goes to his doctor.

The doctor does tests, then tells the patient he has a month to live.

“This is terrible doc, there anything I can do to have a longer life?”

The doctor  replies, “You could marry an Indiana woman.”

The patient asks “If I marry an Indiana woman I’ll live longer?”

“No” says the doctor, “But every minute will seem like eternity”.

A taste of Hoosier home cooking, again.

I once had a “Hoosier” wife who, assuming that she’s still alive and probably still in Greenfield, will be in her “late” 50′s on May 23. Actually, I wish Jeannie a long, long life so she can watch so many of those people who are for whatever reason still around her die, slowly, I hope.

After all, that’s the effect she had on my life.

The ownership of any and all photos, opinions, and quotes above (including my own) belong to the material’s creators, credit is given when known, blame is not.

April 9, 2012 at 3:37 pm Leave a comment

Obama, Motivate Your Voters!

One method you could use would be something like this:

My fellow Americans, can it really be over a decade since you thought there wasn’t all that much of a difference between the candidates, and therefore there really wasn’t too much of a reason to get your ass out of bed and vote?

For starts, there was this….

Now tell me, how’d that decision work out for you?

Yell King Goes Amplified…  But Wait, There’s More

The heartless one shows his love

Then she said, “I am smiling, Asshole!”

Note Darth Cheney and Condi’s body language

A criminal family with a body count like the Sopranos, get out and vote if you want to prevent another fiasco like this one.

Just Vote!

The ownership of any and all photos, opinions, and quotes above (including my own) belong to the material’s creators, credit is given when known.

April 5, 2012 at 7:16 am Leave a comment


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