Dear, Dear Ms. Christine O’Donnell

September 28, 2010 at 5:47 pm Leave a comment

Christine, I wanted to let you know that I really do appreciate your stance on masturbation. Your concerns about sex, considering you’re a non-participant, are very…….touching.

However,  I have a few questions for you, you witchy twitchy woman.

In that stance of yours I mentioned above, how many inches apart are your cankles, and how long can you maintain that stance while wearing torn fish net hose and 6″ black stiletto high heels? You know, the kind that makes your pelvis sort of push forward?

As a mature and single woman who has perhaps past her expiration date, does it bother you to know that I find you oddly attractive in a matronly kind of way, somewhat like a reform school guard in an old movie, sent by central casting? Sometimes, you seem even more warm than Sarah Palin, but then you can betcha she’s had a lot more political candidate coaching.

And further, does it bother you that sometime (i.e., today) I might just settle down on my sofa and rub one out thinking about you?

If so, hold on and maybe I’ll do it for you…

Yep, that’s about the right “hold on” size!

N.B., The ownership of any and all photos, opinions, and/ or quotes above (including those of mine) belong to the material’s creator(s). Credit is given when it’s known, but because success usually has a million parents and failure is an orphan, blame will not be so attributed.
Feel free to ignore any ads that are shown below, I don’t choose them and (sadly) I don’t make a penny off any of them.
P.S., check back for occasional updates and rewrites….
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