As Seen On (a) T.V.

You can almost smell the commercial breaks that are soon to be inserted.

And that thumping sound? Maybe it’s James Cameron turning over in his grave.

O.K., so he’s not dead yet. Perhaps he saw a sneak preview? Who knows?

I’m talking about the latest, and after seeing this, I hope the last of the Terminator Films.

This is no more than an endless chain of shaking shots framed in close ups for TV, interspersed with epic sized explosions that were strung together by truly stupid dialog (and I’m not even including the attempt at humor in using “Arnoldisms”). I don’t remember a shot that showed the floor, much less below the knees, and it’s very obvious that even the two-shots were done as “chokers” to show off any facial emotions that might get lost if it was done in a full shot.

I guess production saved money by not needing to buy shoes?

And Christian Bale? He must be deep into his post grad studies of the Dr. Jack Shephard role that Matthew Fox perfected on “Lost”. The facial stuff like the pensiveness that Fox (not the network) does on the island is made almost bearable by being limited to (in my case) a 40 inch screen, but it’s just so dead wrong on the big screen. Well, that’s if you can call my local multiplex shoebox a big screen.

Go on, tell me you don’t want to call him “Jack”….

Much like Fox attempted to kill off their “Alien” money making chain by giving the controls to David Fincher, a commercial director, so it seems to have gone with using McG on”Salvation”.

I don’t recall waiting for any of the Terminator or Alien films to end.

Sadly, I did today!

Angels + Demons + Opie Oh My!

NOTE, THIS IS A POSSIBLE SPOILER WARNING,

THIS DEALS WITH A FILM

THAT’S NOW IN WIDE RELEASE.

L. Ron Howard, Opie-ate of the masses once again proves to be a “keep it in the family guy” again, or at least he’s half way there.

We don’t see all that much of his dad,  Rance

At least not for the first 2 acts, and even then, only as back ground cameo.

But it’s in the final act where pops hits his stride, and he even gets to speak and get a few decent (medium) close up shots, although not with Tom Hanks.

But, what’s happened to Ron’s baby bro Clint?

Are we to believe that even as the director, Ronnie couldn’t pull strings to work in one of those “nerdy guy that’s watching the computer screen in the background” sort of parts for his brother like we often see him in?

The only other audience alert note for the very well done pic is, this film has the slowest moving bullet ever fired in a film.

Again, not to be a nit-picker, but you could use a sun dial to time the eons it takes for the bullets fired by Tom Hanks to hit a bulletproof glass window.

I’ve heard faster ballistic echoes in a ping pong game.

This is not the bulletproof glass in question.

The Joke Star Trek Missed

Did you ever wonder what it would have been like if the Star Trek producers had brought back the character “Saavik“, she was an early Vulcan charmer that was played by a way back then young and thin Kirstie Alley, and give her what physically befits her now, a larger part in the new “Star Trek” movie?

A nice set of lobes will only take you so far….

Perhaps she could have been the one to make a suggestion to hide the Enterprise behind the rings of Saturn, to better observe what was happening on Earth.

With that perfect set up, Spock then could have said; “Yes, Saturn would indeed be a logical place for us to hide and watch, but then (Ah, Spock, such a great dead pan stand up comic!), wouldn’t it be easier to hide the Enterprise behind Uranus?”.

Hide the Enterprise like that VW Van?

Don’t forget to tip your Earth’s axis 23.5 % (or degrees), on your way out.

I’ll be here for Eons.

P.S. Hey Veronica, even though it’s probably not on your Jenny Craig diet list, payback is also a dish that is best served cold, and with about 15 years gone by since I had to work around you on “Veronica’s Closet”, this is about as cold as it’s going to get.

The ownership of any and all photos, opinions, and/ or quotes above (including those of mine) belong to the material’s creator(s). Credit is given when it’s known, but because success usually has a million parents and failure is an orphan, blame will not be so attributed. 

P.S., check back for updates and rewrites….

Live Long And Perspire \\//о

Not in the PR releases, but we have the chance to watch closely as the young Spock “lays” the groundwork for  the older Spock’s (maybe) future….

“Space Booty Call?”

Of course, this was a long time before the Older Spock was seen taking part in what appears to be a Vulcan MaleMeld with the perhaps previously straight Sulu.

After noticing the position of Spock’s hand in the photo, the temptation was eh.. large  to photoshop in (if you get my drift) a Star Fleet sized Sulu-Member, but I chose to take the higher ground (this time).

The ownership of any and all photos, opinions, and quotes above (including my own) belong to the material’s creators, credit is given when known, but because success has a million parents and failure is an orphan, blame is not.

No prop guy props!

I saw X-Men Origins: Wolverine

It’s a great piece of film work that’s really easy to enjoy.

Well, other than when I heard a loud crash. That was the sound of my suspension of disbelief hitting the floor.

You see, it was going great until they had a scene with a radio conversation from a downed helicopter to the command center, where the call was received on what to me looked very much like a 1986 vintage $29.95 RadioShack CB Walkie-Talkie.

Complete with a long vhf type antenna with a black plastic connector in it.

They spent so many millions and millions of dollars to make this film, and then they had to have a budgetary short cut hit the screen? I can only imagine that the prop master had taken the day off when the director said “We need to have this person on a walkie talkie” and the assistant props person frantically asked around until someone found a teamster with an old CB radio stuck under the seat of their truck that was “accidently” left over from “Smokey and the Bandit III”.

Bah, Humbug!

Coming soon   http:// www.rfiDeny.com