Since weed users own 420, then….

… What number could then be assigned to those of us that hold in high worship Ben and Jerry’s “Chunky Monkey” ice cream? I haven’t used recreational drugs for more years than I can remember, but the high I get from this stuff is scary good. Perhaps my memory gap is caused by that early substance usage, but that’s another story for another day.

Ah, but I’ve digressed again, so let’s get back to our exhibit “A”, the ice cream treat that should be available by prescription only, and the exact name of which I shall not mention again, lest I am forced to make a run for the freezer section of the local stop and rob.

Full disclosure, I have severe lactose intolerance. So there will be no spontaneous treats for me that come from a cow, pizza included. Sadly, all my dairy based consumables must be preceded by some sort of drug (Lactaid, for example) to prevent me from becoming even more unwelcome than usual as I move into the gaseous state. And, don’t ask about my “solid” state unless you’re prepared to give up pizza forever.

If you should happen to see me walking along holding a cup with the last remains of a (usually chocolate) milkshake held firmly in my hand, don’t make the mistake of following behind me into an elevator.

This should be considered a very strong safety warning if you’re vertically challenged. And it’s an especially important rule to follow if you’re that short and are smoking, and wish to keep your eyebrows. 

Oh yeah, about finding that number…… Well, I’m open to any suggestions other than 31 as Baskin Robbins seems to have a copyright locked that one up. And, don’t bother to suggest 13, the pot heads probably have that one sewn up too, you know that the 13th letter is “M”, and what with all that prison look tattoo nonsense…..