Signature Files At My Cost (For Free)

Since jumping on the 14.4 modem driven ‘net with my roaring 286 ibm machine (After my Kaypro, before making the leap to the Mac platform), I’ve been collecting and using signature files at the end of my e-mails. Some have the credits they had when I’ve found them, which may or may not be correct. You’ll find that some are political, some are funny, and most often cross that line with spikes. Oh yeah, many of them relate to dogs, but if you know the meaning of “Bosko” as in Boskolives, you’ll get it.

Here’s a short list of some of my favorites, feel free to copy and paste (sounds a bit nicer than “Steal” ) them if they work for you.

“If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude than the animating contest of freedom, -go from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains sit lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen.”
- Samuel Adams

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“Nothing happens in contradiction to nature,
only in contradiction to what we know of it.”
-X Files

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“You can’t steal home with your foot on third base.”

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“If it weren’t for electricity, we’d all be watching television by candlelight.”
-George Gobel
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” An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.”
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“Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend.
Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.”
-Groucho Marx
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“Men go to a store to buy something,
women go to a store to shop.”
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Optimist: “Glass half-full”
Pessimist: “Glass half-empty”
Zen: “Glass full: half water, half air”
Me: “Glass twice as big as it needs to be”
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“Of course the people don’t want war. But after all, it’s the leaders of the country who determine the policy, and it’s always a simple matter to drag the people along whether it’s a democracy, a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to greater danger.”
-Herman Goering at the Nuremberg trials
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“Lots of bad blogs are better than a beautiful obituary.”
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“Opportunity knocks but once, but Karma will hunt you down.”

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“More than at any time in history, mankind now faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly. “

-Woody Allen

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“You can only be young once, but you can be immature forever.”

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” There are three kinds of people — those who can count and those who can’t.”
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“Light travels much faster than sound.
This is why some people will appear
bright until you hear them speak.”

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“To his dog, every man is Napoleon;
hence the constant popularity of dogs.”
-Aldous Huxley
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“Follow those who seek the truth, but flee from those who find it.”
-Lessing

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“While a fool will learn nothing from a wise answer,
the wise man learns much from a foolish question.”
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“Absence vitalizes true emotions and diminishes the weak,
as a wind will breathe life into a fire and extinguish a flicker”

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I find television very educational.
Every time someone switches it on,
I go into another room and read a good book.
-Groucho Marx

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” I wouldn’t recommend sex, drugs or insanity
for everyone, but they’ve always worked for me. “
-Hunter S. Thompson
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“Really I think our visual system
is basically designed to detect
predators, food, and sex partners.
This explains Hollywood films…”
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“The Six Phases of Film Production
1. Enthusiasm
2. Disillusionment
3. Panic
4. Search for the Guilty
5. Punishment of the Innocent
6. Praise and Honors for the Non-Participants”

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“Your dog is your friend, your partner, your defender.
You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours,
faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart.
You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.”
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“If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not
bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.”
-Mark Twain

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“When you come to the edge of all the light you have known
and are about to step out into darkness….
Faith is knowing one of two things will happen.
There will be something to stand on,
or you will be taught how to fly.”
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“If your ex-wife and her lawyer were drowning,
and you had to choose, would you go to lunch,
or to a movie?”

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I’ve been wrestling with reality for 35 years
and I’m happy, doctor; I’ve finally won out over it.”
–(Jimmy Stewart – From the film “Harvey” ca 1950)
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“No amount of sophistication is going to allay the fact
that all your knowledge is about the past, and all your
decisions are about the future.”
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“The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.”
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“A mathematician is a person who says
that when 3 people are supposed to be
in a room, but 5 come out, 2 must go in
to return the room to an empty state.”

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“When all you have is a hammer,
everything begins to look like a nail.”
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“No battle plan survives the first contact with the enemy”.
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