When I was a kid………

My mother told me many times,

“Any baby can grow up to be the president”.

Sadly, my mother never knew how wide a net “Any” could cast.

About that “500″ minutes the cel company promised…

“Grab your ankles kids, you might feel some pressure”!

It has no cord, yet somehow I’m tied to a mobile phone by my work.

I now can see that the only way I’ll ever get even close to most of the 500 minutes for one flat rate that my cel provider has promised, is if I time it very carefully from pushing SEND to make one call for 499 minutes and 59 seconds, and then push END very quickly.

This is a result of the gift of “rounding up” that the phone companies have given themselves, your 2 minute and 3 seconds call will show up as 3 minutes. Multiply that by almost every call you make and consider it to be your holiday all year round gift to Ma Bell or whoever you happen to be using (or more correctly, who is using you).

The more short calls you make, the worse it gets for your total expenditure, as each call potentially offers the phone company another $ gift donation. You’d think that there could / would be a windfall profits tax in there somewhere, but you’d be wrong.

I’ve had mobile phone service since 1978, going through the permutations from MTS (mobile telephone service) and IMTS (improved mobile telephone service) in my car, then one of the first cel phones in the form of a 25 pound briefcase “mobile” (perhaps it’s mobile if you’re a weight lifter) phone. Better than the 60 pound trunk mount monster that preceded it, but with limited life span on operation from the enclosed batteries. Next came the Radio Shack 1.2 watt carry around that was about the size and shape of an old school lunch box that lead to the Motorola Brick, then (in the mid-80’s) things finally got lighter and smaller.

For example:

(Not me, just a photo from the ‘net.)

As I recall, the bill for my first cel phone had the charges shown in 6 second increments, so a 67 second call cost me one minute and two tenths, not the two minutes it would be today. Again, do the math.

I suppose I could live with most of the thieving sort of crap associated with the communications industry, I just wish their customer service people could work on finding a way to get their accent of India filtered out.

Don’t like it? Don’t call me, I’ll call you, but after 9pm or on weekends when it’s free.

Someone has to write it…

So politically incorrect, but so needing an airing……

Screw the writers guild, and all their pomposity.

And the horse they rode in on.

As a long time member of  I.A.T.S.E., I’m not happy that I’m now going to take an anti-union position, but then when my union was on strike, the WGA crossed our line with out hesitation. At the time they seemed to be saying “we’re in the boat, pull up the ladder.” to us, so I can only return the favor now.

In a previous career I was a still photographer, I was paid once and once only for the work I did, no residual payment when the photos were re-used. So you guys were screwed on a prior agreement? Get in line with the rest of us, and be more careful with your next contract and choice of leaders, it’s not like you’re signing a 99 year deal memo!

Fuck you all, get back to work and stop the self congratulatory back patting and whining already.

Stay tuned!!

Something wicked funny this way comes…….

P.S., this wasn’t it.

P.S.  Coming soon:  http:// www.rfiDeny.com

And a gizmo shall lead them….

Today I welcome myself to the 21st century, albeit about 7 years late.

I finally dug up the cash to buy a GPS device. This came after working a few days (make that nights) at some strange locations around downtown L.A., and then trying to find my way to the freeway onramps to head for home a bit after 3am.

I was a bit concerned when the GPS devices first came out, what if a terrorist got hold of one? My plan to stall an invasion force by spray painting over the street signs went right out the window.

I was relieved at first by the long amount of time taken up in just trying to open the hard plastic bubble pack the thing came in, I was thinking that this will keep those bad guys from making much progress, “why, they’ll need a box cutter to get at this thing” I thought, but then I remembered that thing we swore to never forget, you know,  that thing we call 9-11!

Remember when all those evil folks from Afghanistan Pakistan Iraq Iran attacked our country, using only simple Box Cutters? Why, they must have as many of them as they have Silkworm missiles and those RPGs that Papa Bush provided to them, lo those many years ago.

I’m sure glad resident Bush spared no expense to try find, dead or alive, that 6′4″ guy who is tied to a dialysis machine, Osama bin Whatshisname, who thought up that plan…

Rest assured we will find him, most likely dead so there’s no worry about him spilling the beans (or chick peas) in court.